The padawan series show!
by Emerald.H
Summary: This is what happens when the padawans come to earth for a TV show I'm hosting. It's in my POV of course. Just so you know, the story is funnier and better than the summary. Disclaimed.
1. Season 1, Episode 1

I walk out on the huge round stage, with two purple-ish, pink-ish round couches facing each other and a glass coffee table sat between them. The audience starts clapping. The sixteen padawans followed me out. "Hello everybody! I'm sure you all know these guys." Em, Olivia, Leith, Finn, Felix, Dodge, Jason, Raven, Drake, Dawn, Zasha, Lilly, Claire, Ahsoka, Jynx and O-mer all wave and smile at the crowd. "I'm just gonna explain what this is: This is where we just goof off like the idiots we are. But anyways, Olivia? " She stands up, having trouble with the three-and-a-half inch heels Massie Block from the clique forced her into. Told her it made her look "ah-mazing", sadly she tricked me into that too. I tap my nails against the couch arm that was on the left side. "Please take all the time you need, it's not like we have an audience falling asleep over here." She glares at me. You can here Drake whisper in a sing-song voice. "Someone needs a midol." Emelia glanced at him and said "Your mic is on." He looked down at his shirt where there was a itsy-bitsy mic. "Oh! Is that what it is? I thought it was some type of transporter!" I face-palmed myself. Olivia finally managed to regain her balance long enough to speak. "The first four lucky reviewers will win a 'I *heart* the padawan series' T-shirt for your characters in your 'fanfics'." She made quotes around fanfics. "And you got until the next episode to review. All you have to do is review and put the shirt in your fanfiction, the T-shirts come in many colors and up to a size 21X. That's about it." I stand up off the couch and say "Let the gut-busting laughter begin!" Zasha spoke before the gut-busting laughter could begin. "Oh girl I love your nails!" I held up my hand, to show my pink and purple nails. "Thanks! Now can we begin?" She gestures for me to continue. "I would like to begin with my favorite video involving a certain youngling and togruta." I reach for the remote and hit play. A huuuuge plasma TV slowly came down from the ceiling, then reached for the tiny gold bell on my table. "Anyone like seafood?" They all nod while I ring the bell. Dooku comes out wearing a maid outfit that shows his _hairy_, _hairy_ legs while pushing a long cart with platters on them. He tied a napkin around the padawans necks, then threw a napkin at my face. "Now play." Lilly hit play on the remote.

"I'm not **_STUPID_**! _AAAAHHHH_!"

Dodge did a spit-take. I took the remote from Lilly. "Fast forward! Rewind! Fast forward! Rewind!" I exclaimed while hitting buttons. Gagging noises came from crowd. Without turning around, I told them "There's barf bags under the seats!" I was officially laughing like a hyena from the lion king. "Miss?" My manager Coral came out on stage. I'm gonna say something now: Coral is my cat. My actual cat. I'm not joking for once. I call her quote, un-quote "Snooty-booty" Her tail lashed. "Yeah... Bad human!" Coral took the remote of wonders from me and started hitting me with it! "Uncle! _Uncle_!" The evil calico cat that stood before me stopped hitting me with that... _Remote_... "That's all for today!" I tell the camera dude. Or is it a dudette? The crowd and the padawans were still barfing, so I said goodbye for them. "And the padawans say goodbye." *Retching noises from everyone* "They'd do it themselves, but they're busy puking their guts out. Be sure to review for your OC's T-Shirt. Peace out!"


	2. Season 1, Episode 2

"_Ow_! Massie!" Massie was yanking my hair trying to put it in a bun. "Done. Now quit your whining." I yanked on my cowgirl boots. When I left the dressing room, I pulled out the pins holding the painful bun up and tossed on my cowgirl hat with a star on it. "Cue music." When I walked out on stage 'I'm bringing sexy back' by Justin Timberlake started playing. "Whoop whoop!" I shouted. The audience shouted "Whoop whoop" back. When the female padawans walked out 'Get this party started' by Pink started blasting through the stereos. But when the male padawans walked on the stage, 'I'm sexy and I know it' by LMFAO started playing... And they were doing... _The wiggle_. It was absolutely terrifying! "Okay. You can sit down now." Zasha said, sounding a tad bit scared. Thank goodness they did. "Welcome to the 'Padawan series show!'" I welcomed the audience. "I'm sure you already know what happens here." Everyone held up their barf bags in response. "Excellent!" I exclaimed. I sat down on the left couch, of course, and on each side of both couches were miniature Christmas trees. But what everyone didn't know was that there was a secret string tied to an ornament. "I have something very exciting today." The padawans looked scared. "What?" Jynx and O-mer asked nervously. I made it look like I was admiring my reflection, but truthfully? I was about to pull the secret string. "Girls." I called. She, Alicia Rivera, Kristen Gregory and Dylan Marvil were pushing four boxes-on-wheels on stage. "OMG! I broke a nail!" Alicia whined. "I'm hungry!" Dylan complained. "My hair is, like, totes _messay_!" Massie too complained. "_Ugh_! Alicia, just put on those fake nails if that's what it takes to shut you up! Dylan, you're always hungry! Everytime I see you, you're stuffing your face like the pig you are! Massie, your hair is always '_messay_'! That's why they invented conditioner! Kristen is the only one who hasn't complained... I think..." But just to be sure we have no more complaints. I pressed the button on the coffee table, it was right next to a vase of flowers. Rebecca "Bex" Baxter from the Gallagher Girls series tackled the four snobs and easily pinned their arms behind their backs with the help of Cammie and Macey. "So, are we done crying over how you look?" The spies glared at me. "I meant them. Now _they're_ rich and spoiled. Except Kristen, she's just spoiled." Massie, Dylan and Alicia gasped. "You're not rich and snobby like us? How could you?!" Cue dramtic sobbing. Ahsoka lifted them with the force, then threw them in a wall which they smashed. Or fatty (Dylan) did anyways. "Are these drama queens done?" Finn asked, sounding pretty annoyed. "You girls can go now, tell Liz I said hi!" I turned back to Em, Olivia, Leith, Finn, Felix, Dodge, Jason, Raven, Drake, Dawn, Zasha, Lilly, Claire, Ahsoka, Jynx and O-mer with an innocent smile on my face. "Grab these jackets and hand them out. Don't forget to put one on yourself." I already had a jacket ready. Once they passed all of the jackets out to the audience, I pulled the secret ornament and snow fell from the ceiling. Because it wasn't snowing outside, I had this awesome snow machine in the studio. "I declare a snowball fight!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Divide into teams." I looked at a boy who was about 14. "You! What is your name?" I asked him. "Uh...Um..Er..." He stammered. "**Too slow!**" I threw a snowball at him and pointed towards the enemy team. "You! What is your name?" I asked a 15-year-old girl. "Kim!" She shouted back. "Good. you're on my team." Kim collected a snowball from the pre-made pile. "Charge!" Dodge yelled. I left my hat on the ground and tossed on a white leather jacket. They probably won't see me coming.

* * *

After 591,138 snowballs were thrown, we finally won. Yeah, I won by throwing a snowball at Dodge Venom (Leader of the enemy team). Here's the thing, I threw it where no boy should ever be hit. So here we are in the studio making prank calls. The cell phone had a wire that was connected to the stereos so everyone can hear what the person on the other line was saying. "Hello, is You-need-a-bath there?" I asked. "You-need-a-bath? There's no You-need-a-bath here, but there is a I-need-a-bath." The woman on the other line said. I looked at Olivia, who was on the same couch as me. She shrugged. "I-need-a-bath?" I repeated. "Yeah you do." Then she hung up. Well georgie, I believe I just got pwned. **:-|** "Well...That was fun." Claire commented. "Thank y-" I cut her off. "Who said we're done? I'm on a roll!" Drake picked up the remote of wonders and scrolled through the videos sent in by Knights and senators and random people. "Anyone hungry?" Felix asked. "I am." Dylan said from where she was still stuck in the wall. "Shut up! You don't count." Emelia snapped. "Up top." I told her while holding up my hand. "Oh yeah!" She slapped my hand. We picked up our menus. "Oh, Count Doodoo." Leith called in a sing-song voice and ringing the bell. Count _hairy legs_ came out with our lunch. "Now press play." Drake said with mustard dribbling down his chin. "This video was sent in by... Mace Windu?!" Claire shrugged. "It's called 'Spiders are scary'" Uhhh. "We'll do videos after commercial break."

* * *

***Commercial***

Hello, I'm Darth Sidious. Do you know that everytime you join the dark side, your this close to kicking the republic's butt? Well if you join the dark side, you get free chocolate chip cookies. So join us. Do it for the cookies. ***Gets stabbed by Dawn Travis*** Now you listen here! You join them and I kill you!

***End commercial***

* * *

"Welcome back. We've debated over which video to watch first: Voldemort laughing like a idiot for 10 hours. An actual video on YouTube!" Drake announced. "Play!"

"Harry Potter... Is dead! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe! Deh hehe!...

***10 HOURS LATAH!***

Well, so far: We're still laughing! "Whoo! I think that's enough humor for today. I hope everyone has a very-merry Christmas!" Raven said to the crowd. "And we hope whoever is reading this story is laughing their butts off!" Drake said. "And whatever you do: Don't join the dark side. The cookies isn't chocolate chip... They're animal droppings." Dawn warned. As the show went off, 'Christmas swag' by YTF started playing in the background. "Have merry Christmas and a happy New year!" We chorused.

Credits,

Director: Emerald.H

Producer: Emerald.H DJ: DJ Grevious. (Oh yeah, I went there!)

Guest stars: Bex Baxter. Macey Mc-

"Wait!" Coral came running on stage stopping the credits that suddenly appeared and trying not to trip on her paws at the same time. "It's december 22nd! We survived!" Then a huge banner came down, 'Dance until the world ends' by Britney, Nikki Minaj and Ke$ha remix was playing and the banner said "Happy december 22nd!" Then we, or I did anyways, started break dancing. Or tried to, but it looked like I was trying to swat away bees. ***Note to self: Practice dancing*** Even though the 21st never exsisted, I just wanted to have a reason to dance. **(^.^)** "What? Nobody is joining me? You're all mean." Only 'mean' came out sounding like 'mane'. "But really, thank you for reading and we would appreciate reviews if you have the time. Whoever is reading this, we hope you're laughing your tushy off, even though I'm sure this chapter sucked. Peace out!" Wrapping things up, I cued whoever is in charge of credits to continue with the credits.


	3. Season 1, Episode 3

"Emerald.H? You're on in three." Coral told me in that snobby voice of hers. "Fine." I replied. I was too busy looking for my denim jacket. "Coral, have you seen my jacket anywhere? The one with the flower pattern?" I asked her. She shrugged, her tail twitching a little. "Found it!" I exclaimed. I tossed it on over my plain pink T-shirt. My song started playing as I walked out, my song was "Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice. The rest of the padawans decided to walk out together with "Showdown" by Black Eyed Peas. "Hey everyone!" Em shouted. Finn and Dawn glared at the crowd, as usual. Drake sang his mac and cheese song to the crowd. Lilly- I'm just gonna skip greetings, it's just takes to long. "Hello and welcome to the 'Padawan Series Show!'. I'm your host- or one of your hosts, Emerald.H! And today is New Years Eve, and we're gonna do a lot of random stu- Oh, butterfly!" I exclaimed when one flew in front of me. Claire face-palmed herself, the others tried not to laugh. "Okay, I'm done. Anyways, I think we'll start with..." I read the cards next to me incase I forgot something. "Uhhh. Where is it? Ah, here it is! 'The padawan series begin' deleted scenes!" I hit play on the remote and grabbed the bowl of popcorn. "This one is called "Whoops! Sorry for party rockin'. "

***Video***  
"Em? Where is- What the...?" Raven came in looking for Scratch, but saw Emelia getting down to "Party rockin' " by LMFAO.  
"Sorry for party rockin'!" She finished with jazz hands. "Did you need something Raven?" She asked. Raven's face was the color of an ogre. "Uhhhh. I think I saw Scratch in the garden! Bye!" And she darted out of the room. Em shrugged and played it again.

***End video***

Emelia was the color of a strawberry. Dodge was freaked out by this. He was having flashbacks of a certain fruit. "Okay, next video is called "Remember when Eminem was running down the street screaming AHHHH!?" Oooooo-kaaaay. Play?"

***Video***

"Okay, any questions?" Mr. Diego asked the room full of padawans. Just then Drake ran in the room screaming "Ahhhhh!"... And he wasn't wearing any clothes. Poor, poor padawans. Mr. Diego barfed in the garbage can next to him, the padawans were screaming and shouting "Ahhhh! My eyes!"

***End video***

Me: **(0=0) [- Me thinking "What. The. *Beeeeep*?"]**  
**Padawan's faces: (0+0) [- Barfing. Again.]**

Audience: **(X_X) [- Fainted]**  
Drake: **X) [- Proud of himself for some unknown reason]**

"Ummm. That was odd." I finally managed to say. "I think that's enough videos. How 'bout something else?" The padawans quickly nodded, Drake looked like he was still proud. I read my cards. "Errr. It says a singing contest." Zasha piped up. "Like karaoke?" "No. It just says "Singing contest for hosts. Audience picks winner." Let's hope Drake doesn't go with I'm sexy and I know it." I mumbled the last part. My new stylist and fashion stylist took us to the dressing room as Coral walked on stage with a microphone in her left paw. "Welcome to the first annual padawan series show singing contest!" I heard while being pratically dragged to the dressing room. "Okay, choose a song." A dude asked me. "Hmmmm, I'll sing-" We'll keep that a secret till the show. They straighted my hair, then until it was completly stuck that way. I wore my dark denim boot cut jeans, bongo boots, T-shirt with a floral design and a dark denim jacket. Not the one with the flowers on them. I peeked out from the curtain and saw that they took the couches and table. Where? Possibly backstage till after the show. "First up! Olivia Jade, Emelia Reed and Zasha Prizmah singing 'I will survive' by Gloria!" The three girls walked, well actually skated on stage wearing afro wigs, sequin disco clothes and roller skates.

_**Olivia: 'First I was afraid.'**_

_**Em: 'I was petrified.'**_

_**Zasha: 'Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.'**_

_**Olivia: 'But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong.'**_

_**Em: 'I grew strong'**_

_**Zasha: 'I learned how to get along.'**_

_**Together: 'And so you're back, from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I'd have know for just one second, you'd be back to bother me. Go on now go, walk out the door. Just turn around 'cause you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I, I will survive. Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give and I'll survive. I will survive. Hey hey!'**_

Oh, they're good. "Thank you! That was Olivia, Em and Zasha with I will survive! Up next, Finn and Dawn with... One way or another? Okay then." Dawn and Finn walked on stage. Dawn was wearing a peach colored one shoulder shirt with light denim jeans. Finn was wearing a gray-ish T-shirt with jeans.

_**Dawn: 'One way or another I'm gonna find ya. I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha.'**_

_**Finn: 'One way or another I'm gonna win ya. I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha.'**_

_**I'm sure you know the pattern by now.**_  
_**'One way or another I'm gonna see ya. I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha. One day, maybe next week. I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha. I will drive past your house and if the lights are all down, I'll see who's around.**_  
_**One way or another I'm gonna find ya. I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha.**_  
_**One way or another I'm gonna win ya. I'll getcha, I'll getcha.**_  
_**One way or another I'm gonna see ya. I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha. One day, maybe next week I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha.**_  
_**And if the lights are all out, I'll follow your bus downtown. See who's hanging out.'**_

Wow. They too are good. Even Coral was clapping. "Next we got Lillian Wells singing 'Magic' by Selena Gomez." I know it's not the orignal version, but eh. You do _not_ want to correct Coral. Lilly walked out wearing a light purple dress with a silver belt, white leggings and silver heels.

_**'Oh, oh, oh. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so. Never been awake. Never seen a day break. Leaning on my pillow in the morning. Lazy day in bed. Music in my head. Crazy music playing in the morning light. Oh, oh, oh. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so. I love a sunny day. Dream of far away. And dreaming on my pillow in the morning. Never been awake. I never seen a day break. Leaning on my pillow in the morning light. Oh, oh, oh. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so. It's magic, you know. Never believe it's not so-o-o.'**_

The audience was standing and clapping for Lilly. "Well, that was Lillian Wells with 'Magic'. Up next, Jason Carter with... 'Best of both worlds' by Hannah Montana?" Oh, this should be good. Jason walked out on stage wearing a leather jacket, dark denim jeans and a T-shirt with what looked like a dragon on it. He pointed at Claire. "I'm doing this for you Claire!" Claire face-palmed herself. Again. Jason started singing really off key.

_**'You get the limo out front. Oooh. Hotest styles, every shoe, every color. Yeah when you're famous, it can be kinda fun. It's really you, but no one ever discovers in someways just like your friends. But on stage you're a sta-a-a-a-r. You get the best of both worlds. Chill it out, take it slow then you rock out the show. You get the be-e-e-est of both worlds. Mix it all together and you know you get the best of both worlds.'**_

"Okay, that was Jason Carter with 'Best of both worlds'." Coral is my hero. "Up next, Raven and Drake performing 'We like to party' by Vengaboys. In other words, it's the six flags theme song.' Raven was wearing a light blue blouse and a matching skirt with silver heels. But Drake... He was wearing his mac and cheese PJs.

_**'*Train horn*... *Train horn* *Train horn***_  
_**We like to party. We like- we like to party. We like to party. We like- we like to party. We like to party. We like- We like to party. We like to party. I got somethin' to tell ya. I've got news for you. Gonna put some wheels in motion. Get ready 'cause we're coming through. Hey now, hey now, you oughta say now. Happiness is just around the corner. Hey now, hey now, you oughta say now We'll be there for you. The vengabus is coming. And everybody's jumpin'. New York to San Fransico. A hint to seek your disco. The wheels are still 'a' turnin'. The traffic lights are burnin'. So if you like to party, come on and move your body. We like to party. We like- We like to party. We like to party. We like- We like to party. Hey now, hey now, you oughta say now. Happiness is just around the corner. Hey now, hey now, you oughta say now. We'll be there for you.'**_

"That was the Morgan padawans with 'We like to party.' Up next.. OMG. Dodge venom with 'I'm a gummybear' by Gummybear." Face-palm. Well make that double face-palm when Dodge walked out wearing a gummybear suit.

_**'Oh, I'm a gummybear! Yes, I'm a gummybear! Oh, I'm a yummy, chummy, funny, lucky gummybear. I'm a jolly bear 'cause I'm a gummybear. Oh, I'm a movin', groovin', jammin', singin' gummybear. OH YEAH! Gummy gummy gummy gummy gummy bear. Gummy gummy gummy gummy gummy bear. *pop* Bai ding ba doli party. Bam bing ba doli party. Breding ba doli party party pop. Bai ding ba doli party. Bam bing ba doli party. Breding ba doli party party pop. Oh, I'm a gummybear! Yes, I'm a gummybear! Oh, I'm a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummybear! I'm a jolly bear 'cause I'm a gummybear. Oh, I'm a movin', groovin', jammin', singin' gummybear. OH YEAH!'**_

"Uhhhhh. Well... That was Dodge singing 'I'm a gummybear'. Next... Oh come on! O-mer singing peanut butter jelly time?" O-mer walked out wearing a banana suit. Grrrr. I'm. Surrounded by. **IDIOTS!**

_**'It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peaut butter jelly time! Now where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Now there he go! There he go! There he go! There he go! Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. It's peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat. It's peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly with a football cap. Now where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Now there he go! There he go! There he go! There he go! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly!'**_

"I think we had enough peanut butter jelly. Okay, next is Felix with... Finally! A real song!" Huh? Um, is that the song or is she just saying 'Finally! A real song!' "Felix will be singing 'What if' by Creed." Awesome. I'm just gonna skip what Felix was wearing, it takes to long, with the colors and the designs. Might describe outfits latah.

_**'I can't find the rhhyme in all my reason. Lost sense of time and all seasons. Feel like I've been beaten down by the words of men who have no grounds. Can't sleep beneath the tree of wisdom, when your ax has cut the roots that feed them. Forked tongues in bitter mouths can drive a man to bleed inside out. What if you did? What if you lied? What if I avenge? What if eye for an eye?**_  
[Guitar break]

_**I know I can't hold the hate inside my mind 'cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life. So I'll ask a question. A lonely simple question. I'll just ask one question. What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?**_  
_**What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?**_  
_**What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?**_  
_**What if you did? What if you lied? What if I avenged? What if eye for an eye? What if your words could be judged like a crime?**_  
_**What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?'**_

Whoa. That. Was... AWESOME! Coral's jaw pratically hit the floor. "I think we got a winner..." She managed to say. The audience was standing u and clapping. "Up next, Jynx singing ***sigh***... 'Broken glass' by Matt." Coral' tail lashed as she walked off. Jynx walked up on stage holding a guitar and... Oh no. He had a cart with lots of glass and two pieces of bread.

_**'It's fun to run, it's fun to play. It's fun to make things out of clay, it's fun to fill your car with gas. It's fun to break... Things made of glass.**_  
_**It's fun to spray yourself with mace. It's fun to squeeze your mother's face. It's fun to mow your daddies grass. It's fun to break... Things made of glass. But broken glass can cut your hand, and then you'll bleed across the land. Ask any woman, child or man about the dangers of broken glass... Broken gla-a-a-ss.**_  
_**I like nice nice girls with gum disease. I like to tickle peoples knees. Don't tell me no just tell me yes, then we'll break... Things made of glass. Sometimes I put on special pants, then I board a plane to france. When I arrive and start to dance, then I break... Things made of glass. Yeah, I know dance doesn't rhyme with glass. So what cha' gonna do about it huh?! Harmonica solo! Ya-hoo**_ *Glass shatters*  
_**Mmm, children, that glass sure looks delicious, doesn't it. But you can't eat it. Because broken glass is not a food. So don't you listen to some dude, who says put cheese on broken glass and make a sand-a-wich...**_ [spoken] _**out of broken glass**_. *Glass shatters again*'

Uhhhhh. No comment. "Up next, Claire singing... You guys are killing me here! 'I'm too sexy' by Right Said Fred." Face-palm. No, _ultimate_ face-palm. Claire was wearing a black dress that had those shoulder pad things with black leggings, 5 inch boots, dark red lipstick, a feather thing on her head and giant silver hoop earrings. Let's just say she looked a little... Lady gaga.

_**'I'm too sexy for my love. Too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me.**_  
_**I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts. And I'm too sexy for Milan. Too sexy for Milan.**_  
_**New York, and Japan. I'm too sexy for your party. Too sexy for your party. No way I'm disco dancing. I'm a model; you know what I mean. I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah. I do my little turn on the catwalk. I'm too sexy for my car. Too sexy for my car. Too sexy by far. I'm too sexy for my hat. Too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that? I'm a model; you know what I mean. I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. Yeah, I shake my tush on the catwalk. I'm too sexy for my love. Too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me. I'm too sexy for this song.'**_

Is it just me, or is this show getting weirder by the song? Coral's eye was twitching. "Good thing that's over. Next, Leith singing 'we are family' by Sister Sledge." Then that leaves two singers, announce the winner, do the countdown and _finally_ get some sleep.

'[Chorus]

_**We are family. I got all my sisters with me. We are family. Get up ev'rybody sing.**_

_**Ev'ryone can see we're together as we walk on by. (FLY!) And we fly just like the birds of a feather. I on't tell no lie (ALL!) all of the people around us say they can't be that close. Just let me state for the record, we're giving love in a family dose.**_  
[Chorus: Repeat x2]

_**Living life is fun and we've just begun to get our share of the world's delights. (HIGH!) high hopes for the future and our goal's in sight. (WE!) no we don't get depressed. Here's our golden rule: Have faith in you and the things you do. You won't go wrong. This is our family Jewel.**_  
[Chorus: Repeat x3]'

"That was Leith Jonco with 'We are family'. Up next, Ahsoka Tano singing 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne." Lux Bonteri is about to get pwned! **MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

_**'Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey hey, you you, I could be your girlfriend.**_  
_**Hey hey, you you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey hey, you you, I want to be your girlfriend. You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious. I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? Don't pretend, I think you know I'm *censored* precious. And *censored* yeah I'm the *really censored* princess. I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right. She's like so whatever. You can do so much better. I think we should get together. And that's what everyone's talking about! Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey hey, you you, I could be your girlfriend. Hey hey, you you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey hey, you you, I want to be your girlfriend. Hey hey!'**_

Hehehe. Lux is in the crowd and his mouth just dropped.** *Snort, laugh, snort snort*** "Good for you Ahsoka. Last but no least, Emerald.H singing 'Too white and nerdy' by Weird Al." I hopped on my segway\lawn mower, put on my shades and snatched the nearest baseball cap and put it on backwards.

_**'They see me mowin' my front lawn. I know they're thinking I'm so white N' nerdy. Think I'm just too White n' nerdy. Think I'm just too White n' nerdy. Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy? Look at me I'm White n' nerdy! I wanna roll with the gangsters. But so far they they all think I'm too white n' nerdy. Think I'm just too white n' nerdy. Think I'm just too white n' nerdy. I'm just too white n' nerdy. Really, really white n' nerdy. First in my class here at M.I.T. Got skills, I'm the champion of D&D. MC Escher, that's my favorite MC. Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea. My rims never spin to the contrary. You'll find they're quite stationary. All my action figures are cherry. Steven Hawkings's in my I know pi to a thousand places. Ain't got no grills, but I still wear braces. They see me roll on, my segway! I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy. Think I'm just too white n' nerdy. Think I'm just too white n' nerdy. Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy. Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!'**_

I think I did quite well. I heard Coral mumble "Finally!" She had a envelope in her right paw and the microphone in the other. And without warning I fell on the couch that just magically appeared. The padawans was already sitting down. Then the glass coffee table fell from the sky with a small THUNK. Hehehe. Then a strawberry fell from the sky and landed on Dodge's lap and he fainted. Coral's tail lashed as she opened the envolpoe "And the winner is... Felix!" I swear everyone went crazy. "Finally... Thank-" I cut my cat off in mid-sentence, then pointed at the clock on the TV screen. "10.. 9.. 8.. 7. .6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1. Happy New Year!" Everyone did the countdown. Finn planted a big fat kiss on Dawn. He just skipped away while Dawn sat there speechless. Confetti fell from the celing and a banner that said "Happy New Year 2013!" too fell from the celing. "Happy New Year everyone! The padawans would say goodbye, but they're still trying to figure out what confetti is." I told the camera\audience. "Please review if you thought was funny, or if I misspelled something. Thank you and goodnight!" Then I passed out on the couch and went to sleep.


	4. Season 1, Episode 4

"Oh, Emerald.H, come out, come out wherever you are." My stylist called. They apparently didn't approve of my T-shirt I bought from K-mart. It was red and had "_Geek? I prefer the term smarter than you."_ written across it. Then Jen screamed "You big dummie! Get out here!" I giggled at her chice of words. That twi-lek is a dummie. Besides, me? Dummie? I've been called worse. Then I heard my song play in the background, letting me know 'times up, get your tushy on stage'. Today's song (for all of us, we decided to walk out single file 'cause we all wanted the song) was "My name is... Darth Vader" by Weird Al. "What's up fellow nerds?" I asked the crowd. "Okay," Leith said when we all sat on the couches. "Today is 'Hilarious Random Moments of the week'. Random moments #1, 'Yeah we like french toast!'." He pressed play and a video of me appeared.

***Video***  
**Me: "Cool! French toast!"**

**Mom: "Yeah, you didn't know?"**

**Me: *Singing* "Do you like french toast? Yeah I like french toast!"**

**Mom: *Thinking* "My daughter is so weird..."**

**Me: *Still singing***  
***End video***

Everyone laughed so hard, they fell from the seats. I'm not sure if they were laughing at the video or my hair in the video. 'Cause when I get up it looks like I just stuck my head out of a jet window. In the summer, because my hair is always messier in the summer. Maybe worse... "Okay, next video is Random moments #2, 'Gram gram Travis'." Well this has got to be good. I pressed play and Dawn appeared.

***Video***  
**Gram gram Travis: "Can you please turn down thw radio, Dawn?"**

**Dawn: "Sur-r-r-re-e-e." *Turns it up louder***

**Gram gram Travis: *Pulls out a blaster from inside her bra and blows up the radio* "That's more like it." *Puts away blaster and continues knitting***

**Dawn: (0_0)**  
***End Video***

HAHAHAHAHA! "That... Was... Priceless!" I managed to say. I was laughing so hard my tummy started to hurt. Or I was just hungry, I didn't eat breakfest. I grabbed the burgundy red velvet scrunchy off my wrist and pulled my light-colored hair in a lazy ponytail. "Okay..." Finn said. He was refering to the video. I looked at my cards, sadly, my least favorite subject was on there. "Emerald.H?" Ahsoka called in a sing-song voice. "Huh?" I tore my gaze from the cards and looked at her. "What does it say?" I just put my hand over my eyes and passed the cards to her. "Fashion Show? Jen wrote this didn't she? Stupid twi-lek." Felix glared at her. "Not you, just her." I hate anything to do with a stage. I've got... ***Gulps then whispers*** Stage fright... Just then the padawans started babbling about something, a little too loud I might add. Just then Dawn started screaming at Finn for calling her fat. "_**SHUT. UP**_!" I screeched. If you were in the same room as them, you'd screech too. I took in a deep breath and let one rip "_PRRRRFFFFTTTT_." I feel so much better now. Everyone looked disgusted. ***Blushing*** Drake read the cards with big wide eyes. "You gotta read this." Drake passed the cards. I read them and busted out laughing. I looked at the audience. "It says ***Laugh*** the dudes gotta** *Laugh, snort, laugh*** model and the girls pick the clothes!" ***Laugh, laugh, laugh, snort, snort*** Dawn had a evil look on her face as she looked at Finn. "This," Zasha commented. "Is going to be fun." Jynx curled up in a ball and cried. "This is going to be a nightmare!" Jason wailed. I grinned at them evilly, the girls mimicked my grin.

_**To be continued...**_


	5. Season 1, Episode 4 (part II)

**I thought it would be funny to do a fortune cookie: Human: "You're a jerk!" cat: "I kno-o-o-ow."- Steve Cash and Sylvester the talking cat having an argument.**

* * *

Raven and I led Drake to the dressing room, where I had picked out his outfit as soon as I saw it. "C'mon Drake, let's make you pretty!" I shoved him in a chair facing the make-up counter. "_**NOOOOOOOOOO**_!" He screeched as we applied make-up on him, and made him quote unquote "Pretty"... "Don't you look _**GORGEOUS**_?!" I asked. We stuck Drake in a tutu and a flower-y blouse with gold high-heels, fake clip-on earrings and a tiara. But he doesn't know what he looks like because... ***Drumroll*** the dudes are supposed to be blindfolded Or tranquillized, whichever comes first! _AHAHAHAHAHA_! Ahem... Anyhoo! "Wait... Something's missing.." Raven said with her index finger on her chin. "Ooh, I know!" She exclaimed as she took a look at perfumes. "How about "_Pink_" by Reign?" She asked. I was about to say yes, but then I saw "_Paris amour_", just sitting there. "No, let's go with this!" Raven took the perfume from me and sprayed a little bit on her wrist. "Drake, hold your nose." Drake did nothing because Raven had to tranquilize him. "_Voila_! Doesn't he look _bella_?" Raven looked at me. "Why did you call him bella?" I face-palmed myself. "_Bella_ is italian for beautiful." I said with one hand on my hip and the other propped up on Drake's chair. "Ohhhh. Well in that case he looks very _bella_!" Raven and I both grabbed two airhorns and screamed "wake up!" at the top of our lungs.  
Drake shot up out of the chair and tried to run out the door, but it was closed so he just ran into it. "Watch him." I told Raven as I walked out on the stage. It was quiet except the click clack sound of my bongo boots that me look almost 5'8. "Hello and welcome to the first ever annual padawan series fashion show!" I exclaimed, the crowd went wild and the ones in control of props turned on a fan for effect. "Pfft, poft pah pfft.." I tried to spit my blonde hair out of my mouth, thanks alot prop dudes. "First up, Lillian Wells and Felix Hawkthorne." _'I'm sexy and I know it_' by LMFAO started playing.  
Lilly and Felix walked out. Well, Lilly walked on stage and sat in a metal chair next to the exit\entrance to backstage. Her maniacal smile was so wide, her three-inch fangs showed. And she's not like Twilight vampires (blegh! No offense guys), she's sorta like Sarah from 'My babysitter's a vampire'. Most of the time, she's like Erica, again from 'My babysitter's a vampire'. Felix was dressed like a clown, only with heel boots and a pink wig over his headtails. I fought back the giggles as Felix "strutted his stuff"! The fan from the celiling was so strong it pink the wig off. Everybody was snapping pics. "Okay.. ***Giggle***.. Then.. ***More giggling***.. Up next, Emelia Reed and Dodge Venom." Oh no! Dodge was blindfolded... And wearing a strawberry suit!  
Em took the blindfold off and Dodge noticed his costume! "_**AAAAAHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!**_" He ran around like a headless chicken. I walked up to Emelia before she took her seat next to Lilly. "Up top girl!" She gave me a high-five and took a seat. "Alright-y then... Up next, Raven and Drake Morgan." I had to place both hands over my mouth to keep from snorting\laughing. He was still wearing a tutu and a flower-y blouse with gold high-heels, fake clip-on earrings and a tiara and smelled strongly of 'Paris amour'! ***Literally rolling on the stage laughing*** He strutted his stuff as if he was a underwear model, not a dude that looks like a fairy-princess. After he stopped at the end of the stage he snapped his fingers and did a ***Oh no you di-idn't neck roll*** Raven too rolled on the stage laughing. "Up.. ***Snort, laugh, snort***.. Claire Blue and Jynx." I would've said his last name, but I don't know it.  
He was wearing a braided torquoise wig with a clown outfit and those flipper things you use when you go scuba diving. "Uhhh. That was odd, and not really funny." Claire rolled her eyes. "You think everything I do is un-funny."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Because it's true." I looked at them, Claire and Lil' could argue all. Day. "Next we have Olivia Jade and O-mer." Well, this should be good. I reached for the popcorn next to the seats the girls were sitting in. Then instantly regretted it 'cause I choked on it laughing. "What the?!" O-mer was overalls and a fur scarf with fairy wings and tinkerbell shoes. "Uhhhhh..." Everybody was speechless except for me laughing like crazy. I finally stopped laughing, I let out a sigh and reached for the cards I dropped laughing. I stood up straight and pulled at the wedgie that had formed in my dark skinny jeans. "Ahem.. Dawn Travis and Leith Jonco are next. '_Up butt coconut_' by Parry Gripp started playing. Leith was wearing a hula skirt and a flower was on his head. He started hula dancing to the song. You wanna see my expression?: **(0_0)**  
"Up next Zasha Prizmah and Jason Carter." I said quickly. ***I'm bringing sexy back*** by Justin Timberlake started playing. Jason actually didn't look bad: He was wearing a leather jacket (almost like mine, but mine is smaller.) over a tee and a pair of jeans. "And last but not least, Ahsoka Tano and Finn Beaman." Finn too looked quite decent. After he was done, I swiped the back of my hand over my forhead as if I was wiping away sweat. "That's all today, (finally) thank you and come back again next time when I'm at the top of the clone wars fanfiction archive!"


	6. Season 1, Episode 5

"Hello, and welcome to "The padawan series show" Valentine special." I exclaimed. There was red and pink everywhere I turned, I'm not a big fan of pink (unless it's the singer), but I thought our special guest would like the color. Well, everything wasn't just pink and red.  
The girls and the dudes were wearing outfits that had nothing to do with Valetines. Then again, my outfit didn't have anything to do with today either: A sleevless sky blue turtle neck, white jeans (It's freakin -5 degrees, of course I'm wearing jeans) and a pair of my favorite boots. They were brown with fringes on them. "I would've posted this earlier, but I just started a FictionPress profile. My user name is **Waterlover13**. I would've went with OceanLover, but someone already has that." I informed. "I wrote a story, a musical and a poem. You'll hear the poem later today on the show. Anyways, in 'Lawless' you _thought_ you saw Satine "die", but no sirree! She's here on "The padawan series show", with Obi-wan Kenobi!"  
Just as I finished my sentence, Satine and Master Kenobi walked out on stage. Em, Raven, and Drake applauded the loudest while the other padawans smiled and muttered a "Hello". Finn and Dawn looked plain bored. "Hello, Duchess Satine, it's great to have you and not your ghost here." Satine grinned, possibly sympathetically. And I believe that sympathy was for me. **(T_T)**  
"Today, we're doing a Whose Line Is It Anyway theme!" And the crowd goes crazy! "We had people write down ideas, so if you don't like any of the suggestions, blame it on the person who wrote it. Felix?" Felix got up from his seat. "Here points DO MATTER, 'cause the winner doesn't get embarrassed. There'll actually be teams, girls .vs. boys. Emerald.H doesn't count 'cause sadly: she's the host and she gets to torture us with humor. Let the humiliation begin... Again." I clap as the girls + Satine sat on the same couch as me, and the boys + Obi-wan sat on the opposite couch. I had the purple and pink couches traded with snow white couches. "Alright-y, first up: Obi-wan vs Zasha ***cue laughter from audience***, you are working at Walmart when Zasha starts trash talking your boss. ***More laughter*** And Obi-wan decides to take up for your boss. First one to laugh and\or grin, loses. P.S. The store is closed, and you guys are getting ready to go home." Zasha got up, as did Kenobi. The coffee table was moved and the couches were more far apart.

**Zasha: *Pretending to mop floors* _I can't believe he didn't give me a raise!_**

**Obi-wan: _Who are you talking about?_**

**Zasha: _Mr. Gibson!_**

**Obi-wan: _Our boss?_**

**Zasha: _No duh, Sherlock!_**

**Obi-wan: _Well, why are you mad?_**

**Zasha: *Face-palm***

**Obi-wan: *Copies Zasha***

**Zasha: _I swear, that piece of bantha poop is purposely trying to make me mad._**

**Obi-wan: _Mr. Gibson isn't a piece of "Bantha poop"_**

**Zasha: *Laughs* _I'm sorry, but you sounded like a kid saying "I don't pick my nose!"_**

I chuckled. He really did sound like that. I looked around the studio and saw Olivia shoving a strawberry in Dodge's face. I have no clue why, but I went "Hey, Olivia. Quick question: If you eat meat, and then you shape shift into that animal, doesn't that make you a cannibal?" I asked. Olivia stopped messing with Dodge and looked at me with with confused brown eyes. **[I know in the padawan series begins, she has green eyes. But I changed it.]** "BRB" She said as she got up and went to go possibly puke. Dodge nodded at me. "Thanks."

"For what exactly?"

"Making Olivia stop shoving that _thing_ in mah face."

"Actually, I wasn't trying to. I honestly thought transforming into the animal she eats make her a cannibal." I replied. O-mer was keeping track of the score, so on the score board he wrote

**Score**  
**0-1**

Lilly took one look at the score, took my cards and started flipping through them. "Nope... Nu-uh... Not gonna happen... Bingo!" She exclaimed after a lot of muttering. I snatched the cards. "After Coral reads her-slash-my poem." Coral walked on stage.

"_Oh human, oh human_,  
_So lazy and stupid  
Just so you know, I just made a poopeth _  
_It's your turn to clean out the box,_  
_Once you're done yelling at the mutt who ate your socks _  
_Where's my food, you lazy human?_  
_I prefer fish on a golden dish _  
_NOW I MUST WORK ON MY PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION_!"

Uhhhh... The last part scares me... "Anyhoo..." I said. I looked down at my cards and read them. "No... Not like this." MY WORST NIGHTMARE IS COMING TRUE!  
Barney the dinosoar walked on stage with clowns behind him, singing that horrible 'I love you, you love me' song. "**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH_**!" I screeched. Then I fainted.

_**To be continued**_


	7. Season 1, Episode 6

I placed a hand on my head. "Dudes and dudettes, what happened?" I asked. "You passed out." An idiotic voice said. I looked up and saw... BARNEY?! "**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH _**!" _Thump_...

**(Barney's POV)**

HEY! A BUTTERFLY! Let's sing a song about _butterflies_!

**(Clowns' POV)**

We get paid to walk on stage and that's it. But we'll never get this episode over with this idiot fainting every five minutes... _Idiot_...

**(The padawans, Satine's and Obi-wan's POV)**

WTF is her problem?!

**Back to my POV**

"Oi!" I exclaimed. "Mah head!" "Are you okay, Emerald.H?" A stupid voice asked. Hey, why do I have de ja vu?  
I looked around and relized: I passed out, but luckily there were no clowns! But a seriously messed up talking purple dinosour was still in my studio.  
So, I did what any sane (or rather _insane_) person would do: I took my flame thrower and of course, lit him on fire. "_BURN BABY BURN! HE'S ON FIRE_!" Drake sang. "Why'd you do that?" Satine asked. "Because he's an idiot, that's why."  
I replied. "I see Olivia has returned." Leith commented as Olivia returned on stage with a barf bag. I looked at her. "Yes or no, does that make you a cannibal?"  
I asked. Olivia groaned and nodded. "Okay, back to what we were doing before: which I forgot! So let's move on to a trivia!"  
I announced. I snatched those cards, burned the one with clowns and Barney on it and went back to our daily schedule. "Okay, if you'd just stand behind these things," I gestured to stands that had their names and points on them. "We can continue."  
They stood behind them. "Okay, this is for Leith on the boys team: PeterPiperpickedapeckofpeppe rs, ifPeterPiperpickedapeckofpep pers, where'sthepeckofpickledpeppersPete rPiperpicked? And how many did he have total?" I asked with a innocent smile.  
Leith looked at me kinda funny. "One: uh, what? Two: what's a pecker?" My jaw hit the floor, Coral's eyes widened and those rainbow blocks appeared on the screen that said _STAND BY POR FAVOR_!... _ALIENS AREN'T VERY BRIGHT_...

**(30 minutes latah)**

Ummmm... Err... Uhh... "I DIDN'T KNOW!" Leith screeched. "You idiot we could've gotten fined!" Coral yowled after she had taken my flame thrower. "ROWL LOWL LOWL LOWL!"  
Umm.. She's actually cussing, but we censored that. For once. "I WOULDN'T KNOW! I'M A _friggin'_ ZABRAK!" Coral continued to yowl. "I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A ZEBRA-" I poked her shoulder. "You mean Zabrak, not zebra."  
She whipped out a blaster from a fur pocket and pointed that at me. "DON'T YOU CORRECT _me_!" Eyes were darting back and forth nervously. "I regret visiting this show." Satine commented. "Likewise." Obi-wan said. "Butterfly! Butterfly!" Barney sang as he walked, covered in soot with his tail still on fire. "SHUDDUP!" I screamed, while snatching the blaster from Coral. "Die!"

***Censored***

I blew the smoke off the end of the blaster. "You gotta ask yourself one question: Is Emerald.H sane? Well, truthfully: No."  
Coral poked me in the back with the flame thrower: which I named PMS! Which means Pass. My. Shotgun. "Hurry and get this show over with!"  
She -once again- yowled. "Okay, for Satine on the girls team: What's 2+2?" She stammered. "Uh.. Er.. 25?!" Me and Coral fought over the Advil. "Gimme a minute..." I pulled out the blaster and shot the childproof lid off. "There! Now give me two." Coral held out her paw with Advil in it. "Next question for Obi-wan, boxers or briefs?" Obi-wan's face turned bright red. "Or speedo? Or _thooooong_?"  
By the time I got done listing options, his face was purple. "WHO WROTE THIS?!" He yelled. I pointed at Satine. He looked at her, and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Obi-wan shocked us with his next move. Pull out a lacey fan and batted his lashes. "Umm... Thong." He answered in a girly voice. I looked at my cat. She had a blank look, rocking back and forth in fetal position, muttering to herself while staring into space. Not long till I join her! "Next question! For boys once again, nurples or wedgies?" They looked at each other. "Neither!" I shook my head sadly. "Tsk, tsk. Guess we'll try this again."  
I snapped my fingers and leprechauns came on stage, nurpled-slash-wedgied them and shouted "Don't touch my pot o' gold!" Obi-wan looked down (due to being wedgied on flagpole) and went "We didn't steal your pot o' gold, and I'm an ally to the leprechauns!" He protested. I snorted. "So am I, but I still get pinched if I don't wear green." I said sarcastically. "So nurples or wedgies?" Raven asked with a sly smile. "Shut the _heck_ up." Drake snapped, but regreted it. "He meant both." Zasha responded. Just then mah mom ran on stage in pigtails.  
I'm scared now. I'm traumatized. Coral returned to fetal position, and I joined her. "That's all today, P.S. Girls win..." Then I remembered something. "And can we stop with the depressing season finale fanfics?! I mean, just write an alternate ending! And she's right here anyways!" I pointed at Ahsoka as she waved. "That is all." I smiled and waved. Cue credits.

* * *

**Director: _Emerald.H\Coral _**

**Producer: _Emerald.H _**

**DJ: _Grevious_ **(in the hizouse!)

**Manager: _Coral_ **(poor thing)

**Camera dude: _Anakin Skywalker_** (you can here him laughing in the background)  
**  
Cast: _Ahsoka Tano _**  
_**Claire Blue **_  
_**Dawn Travis **_  
_**Dodge Venom **_  
_**Drake Morgan **_  
_**Emelia Reed **_  
_**Felix Hawkthorne **_  
_**Finn Beaman **_  
_**Jason Carter **_  
_**Jynx **_  
_**Lillian Wells **_  
_**Leith Jonco **_  
**_Olivia Jade  
O-mer_**  
_**Raven Morgan** _  
_**Zasha Prizmah**_

**Guest stars: _My mom _**  
**_Obi-wan Kenobi_ **  
_**Satine Kryze**_

A Crazy Blonde Production.   
Sadly Star Wars belongs Disney\Georgie


	8. Season 1, Episode 7

"Greeting, fellow fanfiction writerz!" I exclaimed after fixing my frizzy ponytail. Curse you frizzy hair! "St. Patricks day is coming up as you can tell by all the green I'm wearing." I gestured to the ponytail holding up my hair, my emerald green tee followed by a shamrock necklace.  
I also had my favorite old light denim jeans and my brown fringe boots. "And we have a guest star- or rather guest _stars_ on todays episode. Please welcome the leprechauns who wedgied-slash-nurpled the males in our recent episode!"  
The boys looked at me and the girls laughed. "**DON'T TOUCH ME POT O' GOLD**!" The leader shouted in Jason's face. I have **NO CLUE** why, but I was thinking of Hagrid from Harry Potter when he said that.  
And Hagrid is english not irish... Odd... "Welcome to The Padawan Series Show, thank you for _finally_ deciding to show up." I commented with an innocent grin. "Whatever, lassie." I'm not a dog **(T_T)** I thought. And my name isn't Lassie. "Today on the show we're goin-"  
Lilly was cut off by a dude about 17 or so flying into the studio. "Hello! I'm _Supah Perv_!" Oh gosh. ***Slams head into coffee table*** Finn slowly put his arm around Dawn, and Drake had his lightsaber out. "Um... _Excuse moi_?" I asked. Supah Perv gave me a grin. ***Full body shudder***  
Then fireworks exploded behind him as he jumped in a heroic stance. "SUPAH PERV! PEEKING OVER ONE BATHROOM STALL AT A TIME." **(O_o)** Uhhhh... Is it just me, or is this show really scary-slash-weird?!  
There's a LOT of pervs today. i.e. Superman has x-ray vision. And Supah Perv right here. I guess I just have a problem with heroes in tights... Makes me go "BLEGH! WTF?!" No, that's what I literally say.  
Supah Perv was making googly eyes at me, so I took out my new flame thrower that shoots rainbow flames. A gift from Ghastly Bloody Blade! Speaking of GBB, a chipmunk ran across the stage with Ghastly Bloody Blade in pursuit. "Come back! I just wanna pet you!" GBB shouted at Walter (my nickname for the chipmunk). 'Kay then, back to burning Supah Perv to a crisp!  
I thought for a moment, then pretended to faint, and the padawans rushed to my side with Perv next to them. "I just... ***cough* *cough***... Want you guys (and girls) to tell my mom... That... That... _**IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZARZ! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**_!" ***Cue Supah Perv being lit on fire by mah rainbow flame flame thrower*** I laughed so hard Coral had to drag me to the couch. "Ooooo! Did you see his face?!"  
One of the leprechauns came over and slapped my face a few times. "Danke Herr Leprechaun! Ich denke, dass ich den verdiente." Everyone stopped and looked at me. "Er... What?!" O-mer asked. "I was speaking the language of my ancestors: _German! _Translation: Thank you Mr. Leprechaun! I think I deserved that." There was a lot of "_Oooooh_"s coming from everyone. "Anyways, today on TPSS (The Padawan Series Show), we're doing "Galaxy's Dumbest Jedi" But not before I show you a preview of my upcoming FictionPress story "Ranger Academy" Which is a school for spies. Summary: Ranger Academy, a normal school for normal kids, right? Haha! WRONG! Ranger Academy is for spies from ages 5-18. Jackie Baker (one of the main characters) goes missing and it's up to her friends to find her. But who or what will they find along the way? ***end summary*** Cue preview!" Leith took the remote of wonders and hit play.

* * *

** *Words appear***

_**Coming this spring or summer, haven't made up my mind: A school for assassin. Sounds dangerous right? But it's not as dangerous as assassins being assassinated. Whoo! A little bit of a tongue-twister in that sentence.**_

***shows Arthur Pines* *High pitched voice***

"Whaaaaat?"

***Male voice is heard while a warehouse appears on screen***

"What do you mean 'She just disappeared?"

"It means, she pratically disappeared from both the database and possibly the face of earth.

***Toxic by Britney Spears starts playing* *Shows a girl packing and a boy sitting in a chair***

"Belle, where are you going?"

"I may be an assasin, but AJ was pratically my sister. So I'm gonna go save her tail, like she saved mine."

"Oh, now that's something I'd love to see."

** *record scratches and Popular by The Veronicas play* *Belle in a spy suit and shades walks in slow motion as warehouse blows up***

_Boys and girls pretend to know me, they try so hard _  
_And I get what I want, my name is my credit card _  
_Don't try to hate me because I am so popular._

***Shows Arthur with jaw dropping***

"I think I'm in love."

** *Gets tasered* *Back to Toxic***

***Shows bomb counting down***

"What do we do?! They didn't teach me how to deactivate a bomb yet! I'm gonna diiiieee!"

"Chill, Magnolia."

"NO YOU CHILL!"

"Uh... Girls?"

"Shuddup Cole!"** *relizes bomb has reached 30 seconds***

"Everyone run!"

***BOOM***

_**Coming sometime in 2013. (C) Gemstone13\Emerald.H (same person LOL) P.S. Yes, it was originally a spy story, but I changed it. **_

* * *

Everybody's reaction: **(O_O)** and then **\(^.^)/**  
Yes, even Coral and the padawans. "Now back to Galaxy's Dumbest Jedi." Finn announced and Dawn nodded. "Video 1: Anakin Skywalker." Ahsoka LOLed once she read the card aloud. "Play?" I asked. The video started with him on the battlefield singing the Troll Song.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, YAYAYAAAAH, YA YA YAAAAH, YAA, YA YAH.. OHOHOHOHOHOOOO, OH YA YAH, YA YA YAAH, YAAA, YA, YAAAH... YE YE YE YE YE, YE YE YE YE YE YEH, OH OHOHOHOOOO... YE YE YE YE YE, YE YE YE YE YE YEH, OHOHOHOHOHOOOO! AAAOOOH, AAAAOOO, HOOO, HAHA. NANAANANA, NANANA, NANANAH, NUNUH, NANANANANANA, NANANAH, NANA, NUNUNUNUN! NANANA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_  
_DA DA DAAAAAAAAA, DADA DAAAAH, DAAAA, DA DAAAAH, TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOOO! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE_!" ***Blows up*** By blows up, I meant he got blown up by a cannon. "Well, that was dumb!" Ahsoka said with a** (T_T)** expression. "You have no idea." Dawn and I retorted at the same time. "Next is Yoda..." Oh, now I'm scared. "Camera on, it is?" ***giggle*** "Yes Master Yoda." Is that... Finn? "Watch you shall." ***Cue jumping out of the gunship with a parachute*** "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! Oof!" ROFL! Literally. He sounded like me on that ride that spins 'round and 'round. Zero Gravity, was it? "Okay, I've had enough." Everyone (padawans only, Coral was sleeping) said. "Indeed." I said. "Well... Thank you for watching\reading TPSS *Cue laughter* Oh, now you get it? *Shakes head* Anyways, I might not update for awhile ***cheering and booing* *shoots glare*** 'Cause I'm having some _major_ Writers Block. In fact, I was lucky I was able to update this so quickly." I didn't finish because the leprechauns placed tape on my mouth. "Thanks for watching. Goodbye lads 'n lassies!"


	9. Season 1, Episode 8

"Hello thurr!" Drake greeted for me. "Today we have not one, not two, not three, but four guest stars! Please welcome Voldemort, Draco Malfoy and Ghastly Bloody Blade's OC: Achillies! And GBB!"  
GBB followed Voldemort, Draco and Achillies. With heavily armed guards, a dragon and the roman empire.  
"Welcome too TPSS-" GBB tried to hold back a laugh. "Please have a seat!" Voldemort sat with a few of the padawans, as did Draco.  
GBB and Achillies sat with me and more padawans. "Sooo, today we're doing truth or dare!" Jason piped up. "WHAT?! ARE YOU _KER-RAY-ZY_?!" He shouted. Everyone looked at me for a minute. "Yeah... I am..." One blink... Two blink... Satisfied nod. "'kay then 1st one for Drake: Truth or _daaaaare_?" He put a finger on his chin. "Truth!"  
"If you were the opposite gender for the day, would you and why?" I asked. "Well, actually yes. I've always wanted to go get my nails done without people staring at me." I pulled the wand out from behind my back. "_Sei una ragazza_!" {*You are a girl!} I shouted, and Drake became Draka. Wait... What? He looked at himself. "I'M GORGEOUS!" Then him and Rave' went to get their nails done. Achillies, Draco and the padawans (and the guards, roman empire AND the dragon) had **(o_O)** expressions. But GBB and Voldemort had **:D** expressions and clapping. "Bravo!" Voldy exclaimed.  
I bowed a few times. "Thank you! Thank you! But I have both awkward and bad news: Awkward news, Drake is a girl for the entire episode... Bad news, Supah Perv is back..." I pointed at Supah Perv. "Weren't you burned to a crisp?" GBB asked. I pointed at GBB and nodded. "Yeah!" Me, Finn, Dawn, Jason and Claire shouted. Supah Perv struck a heroic stance. "Supah Perv is immortal!" I looked at my wand. ***Sigh***  
Magic isn't gonna help. Neither would the roman empire, dragon and heavily armed guards. Or the padawans. Or Achillies. OR GBB. "Fine. If you're gonna be stuck to me all the time: I would like midol, tampons or pads, don't really care. And don't forget chips and chocolate fondue."  
I ordered. Girls applauded and boys made puking noises. Supah Perv fainted. And turned to dust. Dooku vacumed the dust. "'Kay then! Back to truth or dare! And because we dunno who to pick next we'll pick a piece of paper from _Emerald.H's magic hat_!"  
Achillies did the honor of grabbing a random strip of paper from the hat. "Ghastly Ghostly Blade picks." GBB thought about it. "Hmmm... Draco!" Draco looked ready to pee himself. "Truth or dare?" Ghastly Bloody Blade asked. Draco thought about it. "Er... Dare?" Ooooh, wrong choice! "I dare you to... Kiss the dragon!" Felix coughed on his drink, Em laughed like crazy and everyone joined her! "_Shalalalala, kiss the dragon_!" Zasha, Jynx, me, Ahsoka and Dodge sang.  
Then Voldemort, GBB and Achillies joined in. Before Draco could "make his move", Drake (girl version) and Raven plopped down on the couch. "We, like, got our nails did!" Drake exclaimed. "That's... nice..." Leith said, disturbed. "Uh-huh... Yeah... KISS THE ******** DRAGON!" Ahsoka shouted.  
Draco took a deep breath, gave the dragon a quick kiss and ran for his dear life. "MWHAHAHAHAHA! Ahsoka, your turn." I gave her both the hat and wand. She stuck her hand into the hat. "Cool, I get to choose! Okay... Ummm... Voldemort." Voldemort looked up from adjusting a wig. "Truth or dare?" Voldy rolled his eyes. "Dare!" Ahsoka placed a finger on her chin. "Okay, I dare you to put on a tutu and do ballet." Voldemort crossed arms. "No, I take it back, Truth!"  
GBB suddenly had a wand, so I took the wand from Ahsoka. "Sei un ballerino di danza classica!" We exclaimed. Then Voldemort was suddenly in a tutu dancing. "You're next Achillies!" GBB raised the wand and repeated the spell on him. "Falalalalala!" Achillies sang. "'Kay, next is O-mer." O-mer picked a piece of paper. "I choose. Okay... Dawn!"  
Dawn looked at him through narrowed eyes. "Truth or dare."  
"Dare." She replied. "I dare you to... ***Leans over and whispers***." Dawn took a deep breath. "Finn, I hate your guts I'm going out with O-mer." Finn got up and glared. "**THAT'S NOT FUNNY**!" Dawn shrugged. "He came up with it." O-mer gulped. And that's how it cost all our checks to repair the studio. "Well... That's all today. I won't have internet for awhile, so I won't be able to respond to reviews or reply to PMs (haha!). So, thank you and don't get pinched, have a good Easter and don't get pranked!" Just then I heard a motor and the roman empire shouting. "SO LONG SUCKAS!" GBB shouted while driving a motorcycle out of the studio and Voldemort finally got his wand back and POOF! I swear... ***Disappears*** "I'M A BOY AGAIN! YAY!" Drake shouted.

**Credits:**  
**Director: Emerald.H\Coral  
Producer: Emerald.H  
DJ: Grevious  
Manager: Coral  
Camera dude: Anakin Skywalker  
Cast: Ahsoka Tano  
Claire Blue  
Dawn Travis  
Dodge Venom  
Drake Morgan  
Emelia Reed  
Felix Hawkthorne  
Finn Beaman  
Jason Carter  
****Jynx  
****Lillian Wells  
Leith Jonco  
Olivia Jade  
Raven Morgan  
Zasha Prizmah**

**Guest stars: Voldemort  
Draco Malfoy  
Ghastly Bloody Blade  
Achillies**

**A crazy blonde production  
Star wars belongs to Disney the stupid\Georgie the creator.**


	10. Season 1, Episode 9

"Wassup?! You will not believe what I found in my notebook!" I say excitedly. Dawn and Finn gave me a sarcastic look. "What is soooo important you found in your note-thingie?" Finn asked. "I FOUND SOME OF THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS FOR THE PADAWAN SERIES!" Jaws hit the floor as five people step on stage. I gestured to a female about 15 or 16 with silver eyes, violet hair, and (don't run off screaming now) a purple tail with silver stripes. Kat also had pale skin. "This is Kat, she was the original Olivia." Kat sniffed and put her nose in the air as Olivia's jaw continued to hit da floor. I then gestured to a shadow-y figuer. "This is Shadow, he's a bounty hunter." *Gasps come from the crowd* Shadow had jet black armor and a mask covering his face and had more weapons than moi. He folded his arms and leaned against the couch. I gestured to a 12 year old with brown hair and honey colored eyes. "This is Kalah Bonteri, Lux's younger sister." *Even MORE gasps*. I gestured to a sly looking girl with black hair, and blue, red, purple highlights and brown eyes. "This is Heather. I didn't find her last name." Heather flipped me off. "And last but not least, Raule, who was the orgianl Finn." Raule was a muscular blue tw-lek. "And that's 'bou-" I didn't finish because all my recently found characters ganged up on me. "SO THAT'S HOW IT GOING TO BE HUH?! YOU LEAVE US ON A PIECE OF PAPER FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS TO ROT?! AND YOU JUST LET IT ALL GO LIKE THAT?! You sicken me." Kat snapped with distaste. Drake, Raven and guards stepped in front of me "No! Just let me explain!" I begged. Yeah, begged. "Your all going to be in my stoies, like "Story of a crazy, blonde padawan" and future padawan series stories. 'Kay?" I turned to the guards. "Please escort them to their luxury suites on level 8 with the indoor pool and hot tub, thank you." I looked at the table Shadow tipped over. "Hondo!" I called.  
Mwahahaha! After that little "incident" on CaptainKale's "Question corner", I thought he could use some real punishment. Especially after he catnapped Coral. And what better punishment than the new Loony Tunes show?! My story was voted #1 story in Lunatic weekly (a story on FictionPress *evil smile* Guess who wrote it?). Jason cocked his head and looked at me. "Dooku quit?" Lilly answered for me. "Yep. Just as soon as Hondo was smuggled here."  
Ahsoka spoke up. "What if he causes trouble?" I pointed at the guards and the dragon we had when Ghastly Bloody Blade was on here. And our new guard, Jagwire! "They'll look after Hondo's stupid a** when he's not on stage."  
Coral looked up from her cigar and a martini. "Watch the foul language." I rolled my eyes. "And that's coming from the cat who said the F word, the SH word and the MF word all in one sentence." Coral flipped me off, which I'm sure was blurred. "Okay, would Mr. O-mer like to read our "What Next" card?" asked a obviously annoyed Coral. O-mer didn't even get the card yet, when Hondo walked into the room. Mwahahaha! With a shock-collar that, well, shocked him when he tried to kill anyone or struggle to take the collar off. "Took you long enough." Ahsoka retorted. Then I hit him with the bell. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Hondo shouted at me. I shrugged. "I just wanted to hit you with a bell." Everyone cracked up, while my senses were telling me that Hondo was furious. "Don't worry, you just got a year to make up for when you kidnapped Ahsoka and the younglings. Two extra years for your previous acts. Another year for catnapping my cat-slash-manger. Four years for your little stunt on CaptainKale's "_Question Corner_"." I informed him. Then as an after thought, I added, "And five years for just being you... So that's..." I counted in my head. "Thirteen standard years total." Then Coral let out a cackle. "Don't forget that thirteen is a unlucky number." The padawans, audience, Coral and I burst out laughing. Hondo reached out to strangle me, but Jagwire got to him before he could. "Owww! The mechancical beast bit my a**!" Leith gasped and put a hand over his mouth. "Careful! We might get fined!" I nodded and pointed at the Zabrak. "Anyways, you are dismissed, Hondo. And O-mer, pick a card! Any card!" Hondo left and I held my cards out to O-mer. Moments of silence. "Props." He said. Then I gestured for the padawans to stand up, then I gestured to Jagwire to bring the box of props. The box was more like a dunk tank. Only it's not glass, and you can't see. So you just pick soemthing random.  
We lined up in alphabetical order. Claire went first. She picked up what looked like giant chopsticks. "Hope this is big enough to eat fried Gundark!" There were very few chuckles. So Claire, sulking all the way, sat down. Dawn went next. She picked up what looked like a stuffed jellyfish with a hole in the middle. So she stepped into the doughnut-jellyfish and started hula dancing. "Tiki tiki tiki, whaddup homes?" *buzzer*  
Drake was next. He picked up two footballs and stuffed them down his shirt. "Is it nippy in here, or is that just me?" Ewww! Hahaha!  
Then went Dodge. He picked up what looked like a blonde wig, (how can Togruta's wear wigs?!) and a pair of what looked like foam go-go boots. "I'm Emerald.H and I'm a blonde!" (T_T) Not funny. To me anyways. Everyone else, minus Claire, thought it was the funniest thing ever. Emelia went next and picked out what looked like a surgeons mask. "Luke, I am your father..." Whoa! I seriously have Deja vu! (O_O)  
Then I picked out my prop, which was a foam broom. I let out a witch cackle. "Beware! I am Dawn!" Dawn flipped me off.  
Then went Felix, the Finn, and so on till I got tired of it. "Let's find something else." And they happily obliged while Jagwire pulled the tank backstage. "Okay-" I was cut off by disco music and an explosion. What caused the explosion? A complete army of droids with tanks and a disco ball. "Ah, not again!" Yeah, we've had disco dancing droids blow up our studio before. We just never aired the episode though. "Hey, useless Jedi! Let's boogy!" I shrugged at the padawans. "Eh... YOLO!" Then I started doing the hustler with the droids. "Well, that's all for today! Sorry it's short, but I have other stories and a life! Toodles! Oh, and you might want to see the padawans try to figure out the hustler." The camera went to the padawans spazzin'. LIKE THE PEOPLE IN THE HARLEM SHAKE! WHICH IS finally OUT OF STYLE! PART-AAAY!


	11. Season 1, Episode 10

"Wazzup?! Today we're doing bloopies for both TPSS and TPS." I announced as everyone- mostly the padawans- groaned. "You're turn Finny-winny!" I exclaimed as I gave Finn the Remote of Wonders. He flipped me off and read aloud. "Catnip..." He said. Then Coral and Olivia's eyes widened while Coral sipped on her drink, which I'm sure was alcohol, and looked around innocently.

**Location: Backstage.**  
**People: Emerald.H, Hondo, Coraline, Olivia, Kat, DJ Grevious.**  
**Camera Dude\Dudette: Unknown (O_O)**  
**Date: 05\06\13**

**Emerald.H: *Walks backstage to get flame-thrower polish* Hey, Cor- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!**

**Coral: *Stops rolling in catnip* Uhh... It's not what it looks like.**

**Emerald.H: Well, it looks like you're doing catnip! And just when I thought you were clean.**

**Olivia Jade: *Walks in*... Whoa...**

**Emerald & Coral: *Glaring* What?**

**Olivia: What is that your manager is covered in?**

**Coral: Awesomeness...**

**Emerald.H: *Scoffs* Drugs for cats.**

**Olivia: I wonder what happens if I morph into a cat?**

**(2 minutes later in Olivia's POV)**

**Colors flashed in front of my eyes. Red, Pink, Green... Hehe... Hulk green! "Hey... Hey... Go get Kat... It'll be a part-ay..." I mumbled.**

**Kat: *Walks in and halts* IS THAT CATNIP?! I HAVEN'T CATNIP IN SO LONG!**

**(2 more minutes)**

***Coral, Olivia- cat form-, Grevious and Kat are laying on their backs staring into space***

**Kat: *points at nothing* That reminds me of my toilet... Hehe... Toilet makes psssh noise!**

**Emerald.H: *Facewall* HONDO!**

**Hondo: *rushes in and bows at Emerald.H's feet* Yes, oh great and lovely Emerald?**

**Emerald.H: Clean this up!**

(end bloopy)

We stared wide-eyed at the screen. "Umm... Kay? That was odd." Jason commented- no, stated. "I'm too scared to see the next video, but we must get this over with." Lilly said.

**Location: Main Stage People: Everyone.**  
**Camera Dude\Dudette: Mickey Poo Date: 05\09\13**

**Emerald.H: Welcome to- HONDO PUT DOWN THE FLAME THROWER!**

**Hondo: *Pointed flame nozzle at EH with shaky hands* You're.. You're... A LUNATIC!**

**Emerald.H: *Rolls eyes and hit comms, and few seconds later big guards come in* You're just noticing that? (T_T)**

**Guard #1: *Tackles Hondo with Guard #3***

**Guard #2: *Points at Coral* Hey, haven't I seen you before?**

**Coral: Ah, *beep*... Uh... No?**

**Guard #2: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS THE CATNIP! *tackles Coral***

***More guards join in as EH glares***

**Guard #4: *Takes catnip out of Coral's pocket***

**Coral: Um... That's not mine... I'm babysitting it for Olivia...**

***Guards take Coral anyway***

(end video)

_Now_ I remember! We were broke for 2 episodes. It took seventeen checks to bail Coral out, one check for Coral's new suit, and four checks to replace Coral's catnip or face her wrath. I was holding my stuffed-teddy bear with the padawans, who, like me, had eyes the size of Coral's head. "I'm too scared to watch the next one, so let's move on to the next subject!" announced Jason. Claire handed him her stuffed teddy bear and patted his shoulder.  
They make such a cute couple! Too bad their jedis... I let out sigh. "What is it?" Dodge, Emelia, Zasha, the guards, Jynx, and Ahsoka asked with scared expressions. "The episode is ending." I responded.  
They relaxed. "Why?" Dodge asked and Zasha elbowed him.  
"I have writers block-" still relaxed- "so I'm going to perform a musical from Fictionpress!" Now they're scared and scurrying away like itty bitty ants! Mwhahahaha! "I'm kidding!" I shouted over the uproar.  
"But the episode is ALMOST over. One more thing though... Rave', Drake?" I passed them a card.  
"You wouldn't..." they breathed with narrowed eyes. "Nope now-" I snapped my fingers and POOF! All the furniture on stage vanished and the padawans were wearing snazzy outfits that light up... LIKE SKETCHERS! "WE PERFORM A MUSIC NUMBER! MWHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHA!" I swear my laugh resembles a pig snorting with a mix of witch cackle.  
The padawans were like: (O_O) Anyway, back to ze song!

**Padawans:** ***jazzy\pop tempo starts up* We're stuck here with a raging lunatic, and we're vewy, vewy scaaared!**

**Dodge: She shoved strawberries up my butt!**

**Olivia: She made me-e-e a sith!**

**O-mer and Jynx: We're not even supposed to be here!**

**Drake and Raven: *record scratches* I can't believe we're related to-**

**EH: DON'T SAY IT TILL THE PADAWAN SERIES BOOK 2!**

***Music picks back up***

**Leith: I got mauled by a cat!**

**Lilly: I'm related to a loser Monster Hi-i-i-igh!**

**Jason and Claire: We actually hate each other's guts!**

**Dawn, Zasha, Emelia, Ahsoka: What are we doing again?**

**Finn: I can't ever kiss Dawn *gets slapped by Dawn***

**Felix: I WISH THIS SERIES WILL END!**

***Music goes dun dun and ends***

Wow, that was a weird music number! Oh well! "Say good bye to the audience, for you may never see them again!" I ordered the padawans.  
There was mumbles of "bye" and sqeaky "help me"s. Thank you and help me regain sanity by reviewing! :P

* * *

***credits***  
***credits disappear in 2 seconds after showing up :(***


	12. Season 1, Episode 11

It was about 10:34 AM and a blonde was snoring very loudly. She was having a very mind blowing dream.  
She had superpowers, kicked George Lucas and Dave Filoni's rear-end, then became leader of a tribe called Alkaszsazxklioza. It was awesome. Until water was dumped on her.  
"_WTF? YOU F***ING IDIOTS! WHY'D YOU DO THAT_?!" I screeched at the Padawan Series Show crew. "You wouldn't get up." Leith replied.  
I scowled at them. Olivia raised an eyebrow at my 2013 cat calender. Jason picked up a book called- wait for it, wait for it,- _'How to read a play'_. He shook his head then picked up another book called _'Writing fiction step by step'_. I had to get that book from the library so I can work on my FictionPress writing skills. And FanFiction. "You read, like, a lot." said Zasha.  
I facepalmed. And realized, I couldn't breathe. My room as much too small and it could barely hold three people, let alone 18. "Will you all get out so I can get dressed?!"

**(10 minutes later)**

I glared at the padawans crowding the living room over my coffee cup. Yes, I drink coffee, but I like lots and lots of creamer, sugar and peppermints in my coffee.  
"Why are you here?" I asked. "It's summer. It's too hot to go anywhere. It's also, not to mention, my birthday." Just as I said this, my younger sister (who is 2 years old and still learning how to pronounce 'Cat' properly) barged into the living room. She was in her adorable floral swimsuit.  
"MIMI!" My ears rang. And not because my sister had a pair of lungs. Oh no. She had just called me my nickname she invented when she was about to turn 1 in front of the padawans. Who were now snickering. "IT'S_ NOT_ FUNNY!" I screeched at them. Mom, who was on the porch watching my brothers swim in a 3-and-a-half foot pool, peeked around the door and asked, "Um, is everything all right in here?". Coral nodded and shut the door while I continued to screech. "SHE CAN'T PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT! SO SHE CALLS ME MIMI! IS THAT A PROBLEM WITH YOU GUYS?!"  
Dawn sniffed. "I'm, as you can tell, a FEEEEMALE." She drew out the word for emphasis.  
"Actually, no I can't tell." I retorted. Dawn blinked a few times then glared and crossed her arms. I sighed as I held up a finger. "Gimme a minute."  
So I went back to my room dug up the most decent outfit I had (Jeans- forget the lecture about summer, it's freaking cold in the studio-, my black leather boots, and plain torquise tee) and indicated to the door. "Let's go." Coral said.

**(At ze stoo-dee-oah!)**

I flung open the studio doors and was greeted by none other than all my FanFiction OCs and FictionPress characters. "SUUUURPRIIISE!" Carl Smith (Aloha! FP) blew into a noise maker. "Who're these people?" asked Leith. I grinned stupidly as Coral replied after taking a puff of her cigar. "Characters from FictionPress and FanFiction." **(AN I hope I'm not being show off-y, but I thought it'd be cool if the padawans meet my FictionPress characters. Carry on!)**  
Marissa Rider (Popular FP) and Eddy Kingsly (A war of pranks, also on FP) pelted me with water balloons.  
"Seriously Eddy?" I asked. He shrugged in response. "You didn't update, so I'm stuck throwing balloons filled with whatever." Eddy said. He gestured to me. "The last one had Mnt Dew in it."  
(T_T) I shook my head. Then Ahsoka spoke. "And it's summer, isn't it?" I processed this information.  
"Oh, yeah. It is."  
SinisterStar (Prophecy of past and future, warriors FF) jumped onto the coffe table and belted out 'Summer's not hot' by Selena Gomez.

_'It's suuuuummmmmeeeer!_  
_The heat is blazin' like a fourth of july _  
_I got air con on and it's blastin' on hi- OOF!'_

SinisterStar was interrupted by Arthur Pines (Ranger Academy FP) bending over, farting and SinisterStar fainted. Then was dragged away by security. "Uhhh, 'kay?" Dodge said. Or rather asked. Lusa chose the moment to jump on stage wearing a dress with strawberries on it. "I'm baaaaack!"  
"AAAAHH!" Dodge screamed. So he ran around the stage being chased by Lusa (The strawberry incident is just SO popular!) in a strawberry dress.  
"Um, that was odd." Detective Jones (The missing TV remote) said. I (and other females) weren't really listening.  
We were watching Ultra Hawt Detective Obvious flex and brag about he knows who murdered the TV remote. NayNay (despite me writing the story on FP- I'm the only one in the house with a FP account-, NayNay belongs to my brother "Big Mac"), a HUUUUUUGE mutated chinchilla, walked in, hitting his head on the doorframe in the progress. "This is such an odd episode." I muttered after everyone found places to sit.  
"Ahem... Uh." Great. Now I can't remember what I was going to say! Oh, now I do. "Okay, so I got bored-" ("Aw, sh******." Dawn and Finn muttered at the same time while the others followed Marissa's example and mentally cursed) "- So I decided we should do an episode that's very much like _Wipeout_." This caused actual cursing now. I held up a hand. "Buuuuut, yo- er, we*, have to split up into four teams because there's so many people here." I decided on the team thing two seconds ago.  
"How will we get there?" asked Fawn (FP) with wide eyes and a "I'm-about-to-crap\pee-mah-pants" expression. I rolled my eyes. And she was supposed to be the smart one. "With my ultra cool fanfiction\fictionpress powers! Duh!" So with that, I snapped my fingers and we were in a _Wipeout_ looking area. But filled with actual spikes and poison darts! Isn't this fuuuun?! I heard a "_pffffft_" noise come from Oliver Braxton's (FP) rear end. Coral looked up at the course, narrowed her eyes then pressed a big red button. Pop!  
We were back in the studio. I opened my mouth in protest but Coraline beat me to it. "Let's just have a nice, baby-proofed birthday party. M'kay?" I forced myself to nod. Everyone in the studio relaxed. Then Cat (FP) smirked and pulled out a snowball. Which, when she threw it at Finn, had paint bombs in 'em.  
"THIS. IS. WAAAAR!" Finn screeched as our 2nd snowball fight began.

**(in the "war zone", 3rd person)**

A orange-red togruta took cover behind a snow-fortress with a young man with brown hair behind her. "What do we do, Marcus?" the togruta asked. Marcus shrugged and looked around for more ammo. Just then a young girl with strawberry-blonde hair and a ballgown jumped behind the fortress. "I swear, Annabelle. With that thing you're wearing, ANYBODY could hit you." hissed the togruta.  
"Chill, Ahsoka. And it's ANNA!" Anna hissed back. Ahsoka turned around to examin the damage, then all of a sudden! "DODGE!" She shouted. A blue togruta looked up. "Yes?"  
"No, dodge!"  
"What is it?"  
"DODGE!"  
"Whaaaat?!"  
"No! Hit the deck!" Ahsoka screeched. Dodge turned around and was attacked by Lusa's strawberry-jelly-filled-snowballs. "AAAAAAH!" Dodge cried and then he was hit. Dodge lost conciousness. While Ahsoka was muttering under her breath about how he shouldn't even BE a togruta:  
BOOM! The left side of the fortress came down.  
"We've been hit!" cried a Cat Minion. "Brace yourselves!" yelled Cat Minion as a colorful tank with smiley faces launched paint-filled-snowballs. Marcus got the worst of it. He lay flat on his back staring at the fortress. "Go on wiithout me!" he croaked. Marcus wasn't playing dead. Oh no. But three of the paint-snowballs hit him in his stomach, chest and his... er, "boy parts". As Marcus said this a girl with blonde hair and looked somewhat like a biker, jumped out of nowhere and pelted the Superhero Team. "Emerald.H, how could you?!" cried Drake.  
"BECAUSE YOUR TEAM NAME IS STOOO-PID!" Then as an after thought she added, "And because we're not on the same team." Then she pulled out a machine gun that launched paint-snowballs.

**(2 hours later)**

I tried to speak, but I was cold, covered in paint and I got hit in my stomach. A med-droid looked us all over. "Quit pulling stunts like these and you won't get hurt." I swear, robots have NO feelings, whatsoever. I nodded and stood up nd plopped down on the white couch, which was now covered in paint. Then I felt something hit my face. I wiped the crap off my eyeglasses and saw that I just had a b-day cake thrown at my face.

"Happy Birthday, Emerald.H" everyone in the studio groaned, because those paint-snowballs HURT.

Smiling, I said, "Thank you, guys." and then added (due to Dawn's glare), "And gals." Then I fell asleep, hoping that I'll stop hurting all over in a few hours. Tata for now... Woah, I sounded lik Barney when I said that, so I mea- "JUST END THE STORY ALREADY!" Everyone (especially Coral) screamed.  
And if I don't?  
"WE'LL MAKE YOU WATCH 'BARNEY' AND 'SPONGBOB'!"  
Eeeek! _Toodles!_


	13. Season 1, Episode 12

"BAD HONDO!" I shouted as he spilled Coral's martini all over the new dressing room carpet. So, I hit him upside the head with nunchucks. "Oh," I said turning around and noticing the padawans' odd looks. "Er, how long have you guys been there?" I straighted my skirt (yeah, I know, a SKIRT, I haven't worn a skirt\dress since I was, like, 11) and admired my ballet flats the entire time I spoke. Then I turned towards Fawn (From Lunatic Weekly, thank ya very much) not waiting for an answer. "You're all on in 2." she said and turned to speak to Coral.  
"Okay," Amber Dion- yes, Dodge Venom's master- said. "so are we ready to get out on that stage and make our annoy- I mean, beyootiful, sweet audience how insanely funny we are?"  
"No..." We replied.

"TO BAD!" She screeched. Owie... My eardrums. "Greetings, writers of Star Wars: The Clone Wars fanfiction." I mumbled as I walked on stage. I mumbled because I didn't want to be too loud because my ears were still ringing. "And happy 4th of july." For emphasis, fireworks were launched into the darkening sky. Good thing Coral blew up the dome, or we'd have fireworks all over the place! The padawans watched with interest as I took out the spark-stick thingies. "Ta-da!" I exclaimed as I took a seat on the red couch. The one on the other side was blue, and we decided to toss in a white couch on the other side of both couches. Sort of a unfinished square. "Today we're playing- drumroll please," Lilly said. *Drumroll*. "'Fireworks'!" I'm sure you're wondering what she means by that, so let me explain: 10-18 people split into two teams. Team Red and Team Blue. Each round is different. In round one Team Red and Blue pick two people. Person A has a firework in his\her hand and they must take it to Person B set up in the middle of the course, so then Person B must get the fireworks to the finish line where a unsuspecting SWTCW bad guy awaits. (A\N THIS IS NOT A REAL GAME SO DO NOT ATTEMPT.)

Team Red members:  
Claire Blue

Coraline

Drake Morgan

Emelia Reed

Finn Beaman (BETA)  
Jynx

Leith Jonco

Lillian Wells

Olivia Jade (ALPHA)

Team Blue:  
Ahsoka Tano (BETA)

Dawn Travis

Dodge Venom

Felix Hawkthorne

Jason Carter

Mimi (aka Emerald.H, also ALPHA)

O-mer

Raven Morgan

Zasha Prizmah

(A\N *Giggles* Let the games begin! HG quote XD)

I adjusted the fireworks on Zasha's shoulder. "Okay, remember, the course is a maze, so don't fall for any false finish lines." I told her. Zasha looked confused.  
"How do I know which is real?" She asked.  
"Because you'll run into Ahsoka, then pass it to her and she'll run to the real finish line."  
"Oh." I looked around the area. We couldn't hold the game indoors because of safety reasons, so we had to go outside and set up the maze. There's been storms recently so the ground's muddy and I keep grabbing on to the padawans so I don't fall. Last time I grabbed Dodge's pants leg and accidently pulled his pants down, revealing a unicorn covered thong. "EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!" Everyone cried when they saw this. Okay, now back to the present... er... Time. Zasha did a shudder-jig and crouched behind the starter line, waiting for the airhorn. Team Red was very un-wise choosing Leith Jonco to run first. Or run at all.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKK!

That was the airhorn. And that was me cussing becuase I dropped an anchor- literally- on my foot... Stupid anchor.  
"And Prizmah and Jonco are off! Prizmah in the lead." DJ Grevious announced through the mic. "Oooh, and Jonco just tripped over his shoelace!" *giggles manically while Red Team groan at the same time* We're so gonna win. "And Prizmah passes the bomb to Tano. That was quick. I mean, sheesh, it's 2 minutes from the sta-"  
"Just hurry up already!" The crowd shouts.  
"Okay, okay. Aaaaaannndddd, a SWTCW bad guy is approaching. Who is it?" I dunno! We're waiting for you to announce it! "It's Hondo!"

I love Coral! \(^-^)/ "Oh, and Hondo is launched up into space!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHA*snort, snort*. I could see Hondo blow up into tiny pieces from where I stood. I placed my hand over my heart as the anthem played. Everyone in the audience stood as Walter the chipmunk sang the anthem. Didn't see that coming, now did cha'?

"Ooohh, say can you seeee, by the dawn's early liiiigggghhtt!-" *giggles from the crowd while Dawn glares*  
"Okay, I'm tired of this!" Dawn exclaimed. So she tried to shoot Walter, but Walter ran. Then Captain America suddenly fell from the sky and was attacked by fangirls + me almost before he even hit the ground. So no broken bones for Sexy Captain America. He's good. He's soooo gooooood. No, he's great. Teehee.  
Toodles my bee-yoo-tee-full audience!


	14. Season 1, Episode 13

How can people wear ballgowns and not pass out from lack of breath? Honestly! Oh, I'm sure you're wondering what I mean, so allow me to shine light on the subject.

***Flashback!***

I sighed as I turned the page in my France book. I was researching France for an upcoming chapter in a story. And then I have to read a Italy book due to a FP story. Then all of a sudden: DING! A lightbulb went off. I was reading the part in the book where it says France has a ball every once and awhile. Sooooo, I hopped up and threw open my curtains and was shocked and amused that the storm clouds that were there just a minute ago were now being blown away. Ironic, right? Anyways, in conclusion: I decided to have a TPSS Grand Ball! HEHEHE!

***End flashback!***

I was examining my metallic turquoise ballgown and braided hair when Dawn marched in wearing a green ballgown and looking very, very PO-ed. "Alright, Blondie! Why am I being forced into another torture device?!" She demanded. I glaced back at Myra (Anna's- from FP- dress maker) as if to say, You didn't tell her? Myra shrugged.  
"Well Dawn, in case you haven't noticed, The Padawan Series Show is hosting a ball." I replied. For emphasis, Coral walked in wearing a servant's outfit. "I hate_ yooooouuuuu_..." She hissed. I shrugged and waltzed (tee hee!) out onto the main stage which now has a orchestra band and down the steps of the stage to where the others were sitting. Of course the seats that were used for the audience were gone being replaced (with my magical FF\FP writing powers) by a large room with gold and beige walls and there was small tables with a vase of flowers and dishes set up on each one.  
And in the center of the room, a large ballroom dancing floor. Awesome, eh? I snapped my fingers and a buffet table appeared with root beer filled chalices, food, the basics.  
But before the ball could actually start, Jen- the stylist- came in the ballroom with my little sis (who will now be called Girly, which is what we sometimes call her), who was dressed in a poofy peach dress and white dress shoes. And was eating a wild blackberry that grows in our backyard. **(A\N We also have honeysuckles!).  
**Let's face it peeps: She looked_ ah-dorable_!  
"Mimi!" Girly exclaimed. Yep. She still calls me Mimi. Jen placed her on the ground and Girly took in her surroundings. But, before she could blow something up, I gave her a portable DVD player with Spongebob playing.

She has an obsession with Spongebob because- wait, wait, waaaaiiit- it was on TV in the delivery room ***shudders*** when she was born. So in conclusion: The first thing she heard when she was born was the Spongebob Squarepants theme song** (T_T)**  
And now everyone has to put up with that show.  
"SPONGEBOB!" She shrieked. Oh, so she can pronounce HIS name but she can't pronounce MINE? How rude... Felix looked at Girly with wide-eyes.  
"She sure loves that square dude."  
I shook my head and placed the portable DVD player on a table, placed my sis in a chair, and surrounded the table with guards. Coral tapped my shoulder. "You're on in 5...4...3...2...1..." Then Coraline mouthed, "Go".  
I smiled at the cameras as I took my seat at the host table with the padawans. Then the audience and FP\FF characters filed in and took their seats. "Hello, and welcome to the first annual TPSS Grand Ball." I gestured to Claire Blue. "And today," she continued. "we're going to take a break from randomness- _hopefully_-" Actually, no. We're not. I just have a feeling that something stupid and random is gonna happen. "-And just enjoy the Padawan Series Show Ball." Applause followed this and the orchestra band started up. Irish classical filled the ballroom. ***holds up hands*** Don't shoot me! I just felt like Irish Classical!... I wonder if there's such thing as German classical... Hmm, doubt it.  
O-mer waved a hand in my face snapping me out of my thoughts. "Did you hear Leo (from FP) ask you a question?" I shook my head at the assassin.  
"Sorry, dude, but the food is getting to me." I told Leo. Then a idea hit me. "I'M GOING TO PULL A HOGWARTS!" I screamed. If you're wondering what I mean, then here's your explanation: Food suddenly appeared on our plates. Like from Harry Potter! From roast beef to homemade chicken 'n' dumplings Mom made (But the chicken 'n' dumplings actually taste like won ton soup! No lie!) to almost everything! Then all of a sudden, Leith started crying. "What now?" Zasha hissed.  
"There's no potato chips or chocolate covered _pretzeeeelssssss_!" Leith sobbed. Coral puffed on her cigar and sipped her martini.  
"Stupid zabrak." she muttered. This got more sobs from Leith Jonco and more looks from everyone in the room. It was Detective Jones (FP) that got up from his table and stalked towards our table. I was all like: ***mental eyeroll*** Great. Now we're gonna be charged with murdering a TV remote. He stopped at our table and went, "What exactly is going on here?" The padawans shrugged.  
"He started spazzing out because we didn't have potato chips or chocolate covered _pretzeeeelssssss_." Drake answered. Then Detective Stupide joined Detective Jones.  
"Well, it sounds like a PMSing female to me." she said. Then: Everyone froze. And Coral stopped puffing on her cigar. "Meaning..." Coral and I shared a look. "Oh no!" I exclaimed with a facepalm. "We better get him to the medbay!"

**(At the medbay)**

The Doctor examined the vial. "Well, it's seems his testosterone is extremely low and well..." We all waited. "He has an extremely high amount of estrogen." _WHUUUUUUUUUUT?_! I shook my head confused. "Isn't that a female-" Dr. Buttox cut me off.  
"Exactly." he said. Then it was Coral's turn to facepalm. "Stupid zabrak had a mission on Planet Estrogena!" This sent Leith into another round of annoying sobs. "I'M NAWT STUUUUUPIIID!" Then Dodge had a flashback and went TOTALLY beserk. Then Leith stopped and examined Dawn in her ballgown. "Oh, guuuuurrrl, where'd you get that dress?" Omigawsh! Is this how it's going to be now? A... a... Weird Leith on my show! Oh nuh-uh! That doctor better do something!  
Then that's when I noticed it. A leech on the back of Leith's neck. I inclined my head towards the leech and Dr. Buttox got my message and: Pop! The leech came off with a sucking noise than a pop noise! He looked around.  
"Dudes, wha-" Leith was then interrupted by Dr. Buttox giving him a HUGE shot full of testesterone.  
Next thing you know, he's chest bumping the dudes, fist bumping, patting them on the back, having hot dog eating contests and so on. ***shudders*** Well, good thing I'm already used to a dude acting like that. In case you're STILL wondering what I'm babbling about, I mean I have younger brothers. I swear, I need to pass out books called Incoherent Babbling for Dummies.  
"Hey," Leith said through a mouthful of cheese and beef jerky. "I still want to know what happened."

**(30 minutes later)**

"So, basically, you were possessed by a Estrogena Leech." Ahsoka concluded. We all nodded. Leith shook his head and leaned back. "Did you have to get a priest?" he asked. We all shook our heads. "Huh." Was Leith's reply. I just plopped down on one of the chairs.  
"So much for a ball." I complained with a glare in Leith's direction. He just held his hands up in a "not-my-fault" gesture. Though it totally was. Olivia and Ahsoka patted my back and said there's always next year. Grrr... "Let's just hurry and get back out there. I have an announcement." So we all left to the ballroom.  
The orchestra stopped and I got up on the platform. "Okay, so the ball was a complete fail." That earned laughter. "But before we end this episode, I'd like to announce that I have put up a challenge via forum.  
"It's called "Randomness strikes back" and it kinda goes like this:  
Challenge description: Character A pranks Character B and Character B gets revenge.  
It must be rated K-T  
It must be a SWTCW fanfic.  
It can be 1-3 chapters long  
MUST NOT CONTAIN ADULT CONTENT  
And that's 'bout it." I bowed and left the stage. But didn't get far before my sister found my bomb remote control and pressed the big red button.  
BOOOOOOOOOOM!

**Girly: *manical giggles* SPONGEBOB!**

**Me: WHY DOES ALMOST EVERY EPISODE END UP IN FLAMES?!**

**Coral: *rubbing forehead* 2 more years and I can quit.**

**Hondo: *sniffles* Can I please go now?**

**Me: NOT FOR 13 MORE YEARS! NOW SHUT UP!**

**Hondo: *rocks back and forth while crying* Mummy...**

**Detective Stupide: Is he peeing through his eyes?**

**Me: *takes 2 Advil* The only way this episode can get any worse than it is, is if Supah Perv showed up.**

**Supah Perv: *smiles stupidly while in heroic stance* I'm baaaaaaack!**

**Everyone: *freezes and looks at me***

**Me: *moment of silence* *Deep breath* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO!**

* * *

**Credits:**  
**Director: Emerald.H**  
**Producer: Emerald.H**  
**DJ: Orchestra Band**  
**Manager: Coral**  
**Camera dude: Anakin Skywalker**  
**Cast: Ahsoka Tano**  
** Claire Blue**  
** Dawn Travis**  
** Dodge Venom**  
** Drake Morgan**  
** Emelia Reed**  
** Felix Hawkthorne**  
** Finn Beaman**  
** Jason Carter**  
** Jynx**  
** Lillian Wells**  
** Leith Jonco**  
** Olivia Jade**  
** Raven Morgan**  
** Zasha Prizmah**

**Guest stars:**  
**Leo Baker**  
**Detective Jones**  
**Detective Stupide**  
**Girly**  
**Spongebob**  
**Myra**  
**Estrogena Leech**

**A crazy blonde production**  
**Star wars belongs to Disney the stupid\Georgie the creator.**  
**All FictionPress stories\characters and FF OCs belong to Silly Mimi\Emerald.H**


	15. Season 1, Episode 14 (finale)

**I'd like to super-size that Disclaim with a side of reviews, please.**

* * *

_Stupid Girls _by P!nk played as I waltzed out on stage. "Alright guys- and gals." I said as I sat down on the satin blue couch- Yes, I changed them,_ again_. Is that a problem?- wearing a pair of jeans with a green- _emerald green _**:-)**- tank top and, of course, my leather boots. "I am somewhat pleased and sad to announce that this is the last episode of season 1."  
A round of gasp and muttering went around the studio.  
"Okay," I interrupted holding my hands up. "I know I'm cutting it short, but it's distracting me from the actual Padawan Series. It's almost done, too." I shook my head and felt a little..._ upset._ I've grown attached to _The Padawan Series Show_. But those stories aren't gonna right themselves, sadly. "But, I want ya'll to give the padawans a big round of applause!" I continued as the padawans walked out to his\her own song.  
Ahsoka Tano came on stage with a sad smile on her face and was wearing a red summer dress with orange heels. _Don't Stop Dancing _by Creed **(A\N Try listening to that song and not crying. Yeah, impossible, isn't it?)** was her song that played as she walked over to the other blue couch.  
Then Claire Blue, who was wearing a navy blue tank top and a matching skirt.  
**Song**: _Cooler than me_, by Mike Posner.

Then Dawn Travis, who actually looked good- for once- in her gold-colored dress with flats.  
**Song**: _La La La _by LMFAO.

Let's make this more simple;  
**Character**: Dodge Venom  
**Song**: _Gummi Bear _by Gummy Bear

**Character**: Drake Morgan  
**Song**: _The Mac' n Cheese Song_, by Drake Morgan **(O_o)**

**Character**: Emelia Reed  
**Song**: _Diva _by **Beyonce**, performed by Glee.

**Character**: Felix Hawkethorn  
**Song**: _This is Sparta remix _by Whoever.

**Character**: Finn Beaman  
**Song**: _I'm sexy and I know it _by LMFAO

**Character**: Jynx  
**Song**: _I will survive _by Gloria Gaynor **(A\N Sounds like it doesn't make sense, but you all remember the S3 finale don't cha'?)**

**Character**: Jason Carter  
**Song**: _Beggin_' by Madcon

**Character**: Leith Jonco  
**Song**: _Fly _by Sugar Ray

**Character**: Lilly Wells  
**Song**: _Toxic _by Britany Spears.

**Character**: O-mer  
**Song**: (just come up with one in your head)

**Character**: Olivia Jade  
**Song**: _Going Under _by Evanescence

**Character**: Raven Morgan  
**Song**: (now come up with another song)

**Character**: Zasha Prizmah  
**Song**: _Viva la vida _by Coldplay

I wiped away tears as the padawans walked up on stage and sat on the couches. "And I'd also like to welcome the "_Missing OCs_"." I announced. Heather, Kat, Kalah, Shadow and Raule joined us on stage. It was truly a heartbreaking scene with me giving each padawan and Missing OCs hugs. And that was all ruined by Supah Perv.  
"I'VE HAD WITH YOU!" I screamed. I was about to start cussing him out when I heard, "EMERALD.H!"  
I turned around and managed to catch the gender changing blaster, Ghastly Bloody Blade tossed me. "Prepare to face your doom, Pervy." Then BOOM! There was an explosion then a girl replaced Supah Perv's place. "What am I doing here when I should be, like, shopping and trying out for cheerlead tryouts?" Then Supah Girly(?) left. I slowly turned around and faced GBB with a **(O_O) **expression.  
"What? He- er, _she_ kept perving on everyone." GBB replied... ***Awkward silence***...  
"Mmm'kay..." Ahsoka managed to get out before me. GBB just saluted and joined the audience. "Anyways," Raule said. "Let's get this episode over with." And those words sent me into another round of crying. Coral had to hit me with a brick to make me stop. "GET A GRIP!" She yowled. "YOU'LL BE BACK BY HALLOWEEN!" Oh... Yeah, I forgot. _Teehee_.  
I blushed furiously for the scene I was making. But, let's face it: Halloween is almost 3 months away. I can't wait 3 months! That's like, ***counts***... 8 months in teen years!** (A\N Get it? Dog\Cat years? Ahem... 'Kay.) *****sigh*** But, I do have, like, 42 stories (literally)- counting both FF and FP- to work on. And if I put this story on hold, I'll just come crawling back to it 2 days later. And one less story won't hurt... A lot.  
_Annnnyhoooo_, "Today, we're just randomly having the audience reach inside-" I pulled a emerald green hat from under the couch, where Mr. Sweetums, our pet pirhanna, sleeps. "-this hat and pull a piece of note that has a challenge- for _us_- on it." Drake and I walked towards the audience with a micophone and the hat.  
Skyrela Tano was first. She reached into the hat with a purple gloved hand. "'Cheerleading tryouts'." Skyrela read aloud.  
"_AHA_!" I exclaimed and everyone jumped. Well, except Skyrela, she seemed to be expecting my exclaimation. "But there's a catch..." I let my voice trail off mysteriously as Dawn led all dudes-padawans and bounty hunters- to the changing room

**(30 minutes later)**

While we waited on the dudes, I welcomed even _more_ guests. "Please give a round of applause for the Avengers!" Ahsoka announced.  
Tony (Ironman), Clint (Hawkeye), Natasha (Black Widow), Bruce (Hulk), Steve (Captain America) Thor and Loki _poofed _onto the stage suddenly. Oh and I threw Storm and Giant Girl (**A\N I only read, like, 3 avenger books my brother had, and Spider Man, Wolverine, Storm and Giant Girl were in it) **in there for kicks. There were handcuffed and were looking bewildered. Girls started holding up little poster boards that said, "CAPTAIN AMERICA, WILL YOU BE IN MY FANFIC?!" and "I ***heart*** IRONMAN!" and so on.  
They took a seat on the couches, looking _petrified_ now. "Oh, don't worry." Raven said with a wave of her hand. "The dudes will be here in 3...2...1..." Suddenly the guys were on stage wearing hot pink miniskirts and matching tank tops that said "Property of Emerald.H". Plus they had sliver pompoms. Then they started cheering (something they must've come up with in the changing room), much to our amusement.

'_T. P. S. S!  
Sing this if you passed gas_!'  
  
Cue Drake bending over to "pass gas" and flashing everyone his sliky black thong. Like the first few episodes, the audience reached under their chairs for their barf bags.

'_While we're forced to slave!  
You all are out to play_!'  
  
Cue Finn kicking a soccer ball with Jynx while Jason balaces on a ball and juggles black, poisonous snakes**. *shudders* **I haaaaate snakes. I saw one in my driveway a few dqays back. **(A\N True story. It was a black snake)**

'_The cat calls the director a nut  
And she yells cut  
BUT IT'S TRUE!  
OMG!  
LOL!  
LMFAO__!_'

They chanted this as the audience laughed at my tomato red face. Tony couched\laughed into his fist- Coral took the cuffs off- and I hit the taser button on the remote of wonders. I had butt tazers hidden in the couches **XD**  
I snapped my fingers and the guys were back in their normal clothes. "Thank force!" Leith cried. "I'd thought that'd never end!" I ignored him and went to the next member in the audience. Achillies. GBB's OC.  
Speaking of Ghastly, a mercedes benz sped across the stage with the guards, roman empire and the dragon chasing the sportsy car. I'm sure I know who's driving **:|  
**Achillies took a piece of paper out of the hat of _wonders_. "Uh, it says "volenteer needed"." Then he started to read aloud. "Big Baby." I busted out laughing.

**(Few minutes later)**

Kim- from the snowball fight back in December 2012. Yeah I know, it feels just like yesterday- was holding a jar of baby food and Dodge was wearing a bib. Teehee.  
In team 2: We have Marissa "Mari" Rider (my FP OC) with the same thing, _buuuuuuut_, she has a hot sauce filled bottle. But don't tell Emelia that.  
The goal: It's like silent library, you gotta stuff the "baby" with whatever is on the roll-y table.  
I also saw Loki taking notes. And poor, poor Steve looked like he'd rather be in the hunger games instead of my _awesome_ show. Hulk was too scared to make a guest appearance. "Anyone thirtsy?" I asked. It's gonna take a full 10 minutes for them to get ready. The Avengers hesitantly nodded. I rang the bell and Hondo happily skipped onto stage with a little trolly.  
"Why are you so ***censored* **cheerful?" I asked rudely and Coral whomped me on the head with one of DJ Grevious's disks. "Hey!" DJ Grevious snapped at Coral, who aimed a gun at him. "Don't mess with me." Now back to Hondo.  
"Well, it's season finale and doesn't that mean I'm free?" I snorted on my root beer.  
"NO! HAHAHA- YOU GOT- HAHAHA- YOU GOT 13 YEARS!" I exclaimed between laughter.  
Tony raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that an unlucky number or something?" I nodded. And got a grip. 5 minutes wasted. "Yes."  
To Hondo, I said, "I can't believe I'd let you off the hook." This brought him back to reality. "NOOOOOOOO!" See?  
Coral had to pass out the drinks instead. Then a gong sounded, and Kim and Mari had started stuffing their "babies".  
Emelia drank the hot sauce like it was... Well, water. She didn't care in other words. But Dodge on the other hand... Yeeeaaah, _not so good_.  
I stirred my cappucino feeling bored. Then 10 seconds later the gong sounded again. Emelia had won **(0_0)  
"**And that's it till season 2." I said with tears forming in my eyes. "But I'd like to invite my reviewers up here with me." I turned to the Avengers. "You guys can go. You're taking up too much stage\spotlight anyway." They just shrugged and left.  
Ghastly Bloody Blade managed to ditch the guards, roman empire, dragon, et cetera and walked up the stage steps. CaptainKale- even though her review was from 2012, she's still a reviewer- joined us a few seconds later. Then Skyrela Tano. I gave each of them a prize for reviewing.  
"GBB, I'm sorry Walter got hit by a eighteen-wheeler, so here's a flame thrower so you can burn down the truck that did." I gave him a flame thrower that shot black and blue flames.  
To CaptainKale, "I'm sorry Hondo cut off all your hair, so I'm giving you Hondo to torture till I return in Season 2." Hondo sobbed as I gave CaptainKale the tasering remote.  
To Skyrela, "I didn't really know what to get you, so I came up with a purple bunny." I passed the itty bitty, lilac colored bunny to Skyrela. And the bunny twitched its nose and looked around, confused.  
"And to those who favorited and followed, I got fresh cheesecake."  
Then as an after thought I added. "I'm not really leaving fanfiction- trust me, you'll see me everywhere you click- but TPSS is my favorite story, always has been, always will.  
"And if you're also on FictionPress, you'll see me _a lot_ in the Humor catagory." Then I turned to the padawans and pulled them into a Super Hug. "See you in The Padawan Series Begins." I told them.

**Credits:  
Director: Emerald.H  
Producer: Emerald.H  
DJ: DJ Grevious  
Manager: Coral  
Camera dude: Anakin Skywalker  
Cast: Ahsoka Tano  
Claire Blue  
Dawn Travis  
Dodge Venom  
Drake Morgan  
Emelia Reed  
Felix Hawkthorne  
Finn Beaman  
Jason Carter  
Jynx  
Lillian Wells  
Leith Jonco  
Olivia Jade  
Raven Morgan  
Zasha Prizmah**

**Guest stars:**  
**CaptainKale**  
**Ghastly Bloody Blade**  
**Achillies**  
**Skyrela Tano**  
**Supah Perv\Supah Girly**

**A crazy blonde production  
Star wars belongs to Disney the stupid\Georgie the creator.  
All FictionPress stories\characters and FF OCs belong to Silly Mimi\Emerald.H**

_**Thank you to:**_  
_**CaptainKale for reviewing**_  
_**Ghastly Bloody Blade for reviewing and starring in the show with Achillies**_  
_**Skyrela Tano for reviewing and following**_  
_**Vote Celtice and Mondale 2016 for favoriting**_  
_**Hannah Skywalker for favoriting and following.**_

**It doesn't sound like a lot of fans, but that's more reviews\favorites\follows than the actual Padawan Series. Of course, The Clique (AU) has**

_**waaaay **_**more than TPSS and TPS put together.  
**  
Anyways... Emerald. H out, _PEACE_!


End file.
